Sometimes life imitates art. Other times art imitates life. But when life and art converge in a contentious legal battle, the best thing you can do to keep the lid on a conflict is to stay out of court.
That’s certainly a lesson that Blake Lively is learning the hard way.
The Blake Lively Story
From the outside, Blake Lively looks like she has it all.
She’s a famous actor.
She’s married to Ryan Reynolds, another famous actor … and a Hollywood superhero!
Together they have 4 beautiful children.
Presumably they’re both rich and famous.
And she’s drop dead gorgeous.
She’s also embroiled in an epic legal battle with Justin Baldoni – her director and co-star in the 2024 hit movie “It Ends With Us.” Unfortunately for both of them, they didn’t even try to stay out of court. Consequently, their private battle has turned into a public war.
Here’s what happened.
After their movie was released in August, 2024, rumors of a rift between the stars started rumbling on social media.
In December, 2024, Lively sued Baldoni alleging sexual harassment and “severe emotional distress.” She also alleged that Baldoni engaged in a "social manipulation" campaign to "destroy" her reputation.
Baldoni denied Lively’s allegations. He countersued both Lively and Ryan Reynolds for extortion and defamation. He also sued the New York Times for libel and false light invasion of privacy for its reports about Lively’s lawsuit.
Since that time, cast members have taken sides and anonymous sources have leaked damaging details. The lawsuit has also reportedly sucked in other celebrities, including Taylor Swift, who was subpoenaed as a witness in the trial that’s scheduled in 2026.
The result?
In addition to dealing with the multiple lawsuits going back and forth, both stars now face the challenge of protecting their professional futures while locked in a public battle neither one of them can truly win.
Blake Lively and Divorce
First and foremost: Blake Lively is NOT getting a divorce. (… thought I better put that out there right away so I don’t get sued!)
But Blake’s conflict with Justin Baldoni mirrors some of the most toxic patterns in high-conflict divorces: private grievances that erupt into public warfare when neither side is able to control their emotions or stay out of court.
From leaked texts to social media posts to "friends speaking on condition of anonymity," the same reputation-destroying tactics plague both scenarios.
Unlike what happens in most divorces though – except for super high-profile ones - both Lively and Baldoni hired PR firms to do damage control and try to manage their reputations.
Unfortunately, most regular people don’t have that luxury. So if you’re facing divorce and you want to prevent it from becoming a Blake Lively-style catastrophe, here are five critical errors to avoid.
Five Critical Mistakes to Avoid if You Want to Stay Out Of Court
1. Firing the First Public Shot
In the Blake Lively situation, it seems that the actors’ personal conflict escalated as soon as their private disagreements turned into public positioning. The same thing happens in divorce.
Divorcing couples often make irreversible mistakes by broadcasting their conflicts in public before attempting to resolve them privately. They share sensitive information with others. They call each other out on social media. Each one goes out of their way to make the other look like the bad guy.
Doing that may feel great in the moment. But once private disputes enter the public domain, it’s easy to lose control of what happens next.
2. Creating a Digital Paper Trail
In the Lively and Baldoni's conflict, both of their “teams” exchanged increasingly heated digital communications via emails, text messages and social media posts. In other words, they created a digital trail that later became central to their conflict.
The same thing happens In divorce when you send text messages when you’re spitting mad or hit “send” on an unfortunate email drafted at 2 AM. Social media posts about your "toxic ex" also create permanent evidence that can later come back to bite you in court.
Before hitting send, ask yourself: "Would I be okay if this got projected on a screen in a courtroom?” Or, use the “grandmother test: Ask: “Would I be to show this to my grandmother?”
3. Forcing Others to Choose Sides
As the Lively-Baldoni conflict heightened, other actors reportedly felt pressured to declare their allegiance, one way or another. The same dynamic occurs in divorce, when shared friends, extended families, and even children feel forced to take sides.
Don’t do that.
Instead of trying to build your “team” who will agree with you and support you, focus on quietly doing your best to resolve your differences. The more people who get involved in your divorce, the less control you have and the longer you’ll stay locked in battle.
4. Responding to Every Provocation
If you and your spouse insist on “settling every score” and making sure you counter every accusation your level of conflict has nowhere to go but up. You’ll fall into a reactive pattern that will make it difficult to end the conflict without losing face.
You don’t have to respond to every argument.
Strategic silence—knowing when not to respond—can be more powerful than anything else you say or do.
5. Ignoring Your Long-Term Reputation
For Lively and Baldoni, their handling of this dispute could potentially impact casting decisions for years to come.
Similarly, your conduct during divorce can affect your reputation as well as the professional opportunities that come your way. It can affect your friendships, your family relationships, and most importantly, your relationship with your children.
The Better Path Forward
Instead of going public with your conflict do your best to stay OUT of the public eye. Keep your private battles private. Doing that isn't always easy. It's also way less satisfying to stay out of court than it is to try your case in the court of public opinion. But it will ALWAYS yield better results in the long run.
How do you do that? How can you keep the lid on your conflict (no matter what that conflict is about)?
- Stay off social media. Everything you post on social media exists forever. It doesn’t matter if you delete it later. It doesn’t matter if you blocked your ex from seeing your posts. Once you post something you’ve created evidence that can (and likely WILL) be used against you.
- Keep your disputes private. Stay out of court. Try to resolve your divorce through mediation, Collaborative Divorce, or any other alternative dispute resolution system. Also, don’t talk about your divorce with anyone except your lawyer, your therapist, your coach and a few of your closest friends whom you can trust to keep their mouths shut.
- Keep your eye on the goal. Ask yourself: "What outcome do I want in my divorce?" Before you make ANY divorce decision, before you say or do ANYTHING, ask yourself, “Will doing what I’m about to do get me closer to my goal, or push me farther away?”
- Preserve your self-respect. At the end of your divorce you may not have to face your spouse again (or at least you may not have to do it often) but you’re going to have to look at yourself every day in the mirror. Even if you have every right to be mad and lash out, taking the high road will help you maintain your dignity and preserve your self-respect.
- Create space for privacy. There’s a reason people talk about “TMI” (too much information!) You don’t need to express every feeling publicly. Get a good therapist who will help you process your emotions in ways that won't create permanent records.
The Stakes Are Too High
The reputation you’ve spent your life building can evaporate in minutes when you allow your private conflicts to go public. It doesn't matter whether you're going through a divorce or publicly suing anyone over anything. Court rooms are public. Lawsuits are searchable in any public record check. The minute you file a lawsuit you put your conflict in the public eye - whehter you'd prefer to do that or not.
Do yourself a favor and learn from Hollywood’s mistakes. Keep your head high, your eyes open, and your mouth shut. In the end, that will help you keep your divorce from ending up like the Blake Lively/Justin Baldoni fiasco.
