Decision coaching is a very specific form of coaching that is focused on one thing: Helping you make a decision.
If you're reading this page, chances are that the decision you're wrestling with probably has something to do with your marriage or getting a divorce.
- Maybe you're wondering whether you should separate from your spouse.
- Maybe you're wondering whether you should get a divorce.
- Or maybe you're already in the middle of a divorce that's not going very well and you're trying to figure out whether you should cut your losses and change lawyers now, or stay the course with the lawyer you have.
The problem with facing these kinds of major life decisions is that the stakes are incredibly high. You feel like you're jeopardizing everything that you value the most - your relationships, your kids, and your money.
Because of that, it's easy to kick the can down the road, settle for a life that's "good enough," and do nothing.
Even if you’re amazingly accomplished and successful in your work life, deciding what to do about your home life can paralyze you.
Yet, if you don’t actively DO something to break that paralysis, you can stay stuck in indecision for YEARS.
What is a Decision Coach?
As a decision coach, I help you focus on doing ONE thing: making a decision.
Unlike a divorce lawyer, I'm not going to push you to get a divorce. Unlike a marriage counselor, I'm not going to push you to stay married.
The ONLY thing I help you do is to make a decision.
Perhaps more importantly though, I'll help you make a decision that you can live with.
Why does that matter?
... because if you aren't comfortable with whatever you "decide," you're not going to act on it.
Unless you take action on a decision, nothing changes.
It's the same as not making a decision at all.
You're still stuck.
How a Decision Coach Can Help You
If decision coaching sounds strange to you, I’m not surprised.
Most people assume that they SHOULD be able to make enormous life decisions on their own.
They assume that, since they can make big decisions about other things, they should be able to make big decisions about their marriage, too.
But the "other things" they're making decisions about aren't personal. That makes those decisions different.
What's more, most people have never studied decision making. They've never had any training in HOW to make major decisions. And the only decision-making tool they've ever heard of is the infamous "List of Pros and Cons." (... which, by the way, doesn't work when you're trying to decide what to do with your marraige!)
So they struggle for way too long, having a conversation in their head that goes something like this.
"How long am i going to keep living like this? I feel like I'm living a lie. My spouse doesn't even know who I am anymore! This isn't what marriage is supposed to be!
"But if I get a divorce, what will happen to the kids? I'll ruin our family. My kids will hate me. I'll wreck their lives and it'll all be my fault.
"Yet, if I stay, what happens to me? I feel so empty inside. All I want is a real partner - someone who sees me, who knows me. Someone who loves me for ME!
"But, how do I know I'll find love, even if I get divorced? I'm not as young as I used to be. The thought of dating again makes me sick to my stomach! I'm not even sure how dating works these days! Maybe I should just stay married.
"But if I stay married, I'll NEVER find love! And I'm NOT getting any younger. Is this how I want to live the rest of my life? I don't think can't do this even one more day! I need a divorce.
" Divorce is expensive, though. And I'd lose half of everything. (Maybe more!) I don't know if I could make it on my own. I don't want to start over.
And on and on it goes. Over and over again in your head. For days, weeks, months, years.
How Does Decision Coaching Work?
Decision coaching takes you through a PROCESS whereby you discover how to dive deeply within yourself so that you can identify what you truly want. Then you figure out what’s getting in your way. And then you start working on ways to work WITH your own psychology so that you can overcome your blocks, rather than letting them stop you.
Decision coaching is based on brain research, neuroscience and the science of decision making. It uses tools and techniques that help you stop spinning in your head, so that you can actually make progress in your life.
It helps you interrupt the discussion you've had with yourself in your head a thousand times before so that you can hear the still small voice buried deep inside of you that already has the answers you seek.
It gives you new perspective and the tools to change.
Do You Need a Decision Coach?
Not everyone needs a decision coach.
While deciding whether to get a divorce is challenging for almost everyone, there’s a big difference between being stuck in indecision for a few weeks, and not being able to make a decision about your marriage for few years.
Struggling with a huge decision for a few days or even a few months is totally normal.
But when the time it takes you to make this decision stretches from months into years, there’s usually more going on. You’re no
longer just trying to investigate your options. You’re stuck.
That’s when working with a decision coach can be a game-changer.
How We Can Work Together
When I get your request, I’ll send you an email as soon as I can. (But please be patient with me! I’m only one person and it may take me a day or two to respond, ESPECIALLY if you contact me on a weekend or a holiday!)
After that, we’ll set up a quick talk to see if we’re a good fit to work together. Then we’ll go from there.
If you're tired of letting your life pass you by while you're stuck in limbo - not being happily married and not being happily divorced - decision coaching can be the best investment you've ever made.