Episode Description
When Alexis (Skigen) Rago was laid off from her corporate marketing job she knew that – as much as she loved her children - she wouldn’t be happy as a stay-at-home mom. Yet, returning to the corporate world – with its rigid culture and grueling time demands – was equally unappealing. So Alexis took the bold step of starting her own marketing strategy consulting firm.
During her career transition, Alexis also realized that her marriage had become a poor model for her children. She talks honestly about how she considered the traditional wisdom of “staying married for the kids,” and how that conflicted with her desire to teach her children how to BE in a relationship and a marriage.
In this podcast episode, Alexis openly shares how she navigated balancing the demands of her new business with raising two boys and going through a divorce at the same time.
Show Notes
About Alexis
Alexis (Skigen) Rago, the Big Kahuna at Marketing Mana LLC, coaches established small business owners to find clarity in message and direction, attract Dream Clients, and love their Small Business. Alexis brings 25+ years of marketing expertise, working with companies of all sizes, covering 33 industries. Alexis enjoys showing up for herself so she can provide value to others, traveling, exercising, eating chocolate that’s worth it, and being a boy mom.
Connect with Alexis
You can connect with Alexis on her Facebook page at Alexis Skigen Rago, her Business Facebook page at Marketing Mana LLC and on LinkedIn at Alexis Skigen Rago or Marketing Mana LLC. You can find Alexis on YouTube at Marketing Mana LLC, follow Alexis on X at Marketing Mana LLC and find out more about Alexis’ work on her website at Marketing Mana LLC. The best way to contact Alexis is through this link.
Special Offer
Alexis has a special offer for Off The Fence Listeners. Take $50 off Alexis’ class Unforgettable Introductions: Attract Your Dream Clients and Network Fearlessly with the code “TAKEACTION”
Key Takeaways From This Episode with Alexis
- Alexis was laid off from a corporate job after years of working in a toxic culture. This spurred her to start her own marketing consulting business.
- She immersed herself in her local business community and networking to build relationships. She realized many business owners struggled with marketing and needed coaching/strategy, not just tactics.
- Alexis went through a divorce after realizing the marriage was no longer aligned with her values and vision. She chose to make it amicable for her kids.
- The divorce initially wiped out her vision for the future. Through journaling, reading, and taking small actions like making a vision storyboard, she was able to create a new vision.
- To transfer her decision-making abilities from work to her personal life, Alexis focused on what she wanted for her kids' future and realizing she'd rather be alone than lonely. Her core values were a great decision filter.
- Alexis recommends really reflecting on any big decision - does it align with your core values and who you want to be? Get support through therapy, journaling, inspirational materials. Break down your vision into small, achievable steps. Don't let limiting beliefs hold you back.
- The key takeaway is to ask the big questions about what you want in life, be open to the answers, and take action on them. You can iterate as you go, nothing has to be perfect. Align decisions with your core values.
Do you like what you've heard?
Share the love so more people can benefit from this episode too!
Transcript
Alexis Skigen Rago on Business, Divorce, and Raising Great Kids
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
values, business, limiting beliefs
SPEAKERS
Karen Covy, Alexis Skigen Rago
Karen Covy Host00:10
Hello and welcome to Off the Fence, a podcast where we deconstruct difficult decision making so we can discover what keeps us stuck and, more importantly, how we can get unstuck and start making even tough decisions with confidence. I'm your host, karen Covey, a former divorce lawyer, mediator and arbitrator, turned coach, author and entrepreneur. And now, without further ado, let's get on with the show. With me today is Alexis Skigen Rago, and Alexis is the big kahuna at Marketing Mana. She coaches established small business owners to find clarity in message and direction, attract their dream clients and love their small business. Alexis brings over 25 years of marketing expertise, working with companies of all sizes covering 33 industries. Alexis enjoys showing up for herself so she can provide value to others, including traveling, exercising, eating chocolate that's worth it, which is big, and being a boy mom. Alexis, welcome to the show.
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest01:19
Aloha! Karen. Thanks so much for having me.
Karen Covy Host01:22
It is a joy, and you and I have known each other for a few years and as we've talked offline, so to speak. I wanted to have you on the show for two main reasons. One is because I know that you have your own experience with divorce and all the decisions that that presented to you to share, but also as a small business owner, because you've worked for companies. You have worked for yourself. You are a small business owner, and there's a lot of decision making that goes along with that, as both of us know. So I'd like to just start, though, with your a little bit about your backstory. How did you get here when you know? What decisions did you make to get you to this place? Where are you at now? Start wherever you want to start.
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest02:12
Sure, absolutely. And also, as a mom, I have to make a lot of decisions too. I know I'm not alone. Like women, were just real awesome. We really truly are what we, what we have to deal with on a daily basis and yearly. It's truly amazing. So I'm blessed to be here with you.
02:31
You know, for many years for 25 years I've been doing marketing and I started my business about five and a half years ago at the point of this recording, and it was interesting because I had been part of a large corporation. I was running their email, mobile and social for over 1100 white label brands and, unfortunately, the culture was very toxic. I was actually hired in the middle of a mass layoff and I was laid off in the middle of a more mass lay off, but on a trickling level over a series of months layoff. So when they actually brought me back to the room, you know and it's my manager, super nice guy HR and me, and you know he's, he's reading the script and I said can we please just be human? And he looked up and he looked at HR and he said can I? I mean, that's how much fear and that's not against him, that's how much fear based that. You know it was a fear based culture. So I had a pit in my stomach and it went away. So sometimes those decisions that sometimes are made for you and I had been looking for jobs, I just hadn't secured one yet. Sometimes those decisions that seem really hard are actually so much better for us in the long run.
04:05
And so that kicked off a year of do I stay at home and be a stay-at-home mom. You know we had just moved out to the burbs a couple of years ago, so we had a house, we had lots of repairs, lots of expenses. I had two young kids one was in preschool, one was in elementary school at the time. And you know I was looking for a job because I'm actually one of those moms that prefers to work. I feel that giving my adult mind use during the day helps me. This is not against anyone who chooses to be a stay-at-home mom. I think it's so important and I do think things would be probably different if I was one. But what was right for me was to be working, and so I kept looking for jobs and I wasn't finding anything.
04:58
This was back in 2017. And at that time the job market was good. However, companies were demanding a lot from employees. So when I was looking at marketing director jobs, it was we want you to do strategy. Great, I love strategy and, by the way, do you know Adobe Illustrator? Because you're going to have to be designing things. Those are two totally different skill sets, different parts of the brain. You do not want someone equally strong in design and strategy. It doesn't happen and I stink. By the way, as a designer, I'm horrible. That's why I don't do execution anymore and I focus on strategy. So during that year, I kept looking and I kept seeing these jobs that just were unreasonable. And I did interview. I got to the top two for a position, but they wound up going with somebody else. And then I wound up working with a coach and this coach. I had four sessions and I went in and I knew I made a decision. When I started, I said by the end of these four weeks, I want to know what I'm going to do next. And that drove the decisions, the discussions that drove her assignments to me, that drove the decisions. By the end of the second session, just two weeks in, I knew that I was going to open a marketing strategy consulting firm.
Karen Covy Host06:32
OK, let me stop you in your journey there, because I find this fascinating. How did you? Because for a while, it sounds like you were struggling. You didn't know what you wanted to do, nothing was feeling right to you, you couldn't find the job that you were really looking for, blah, blah, blah. How did you? In two weeks? What happened in those two weeks that made you, or helped you, make a decision?
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest06:58
So you know Dante's Inferno's, you know, yeah, me not having a decision, that's my Inferno. So this had been bubbling for close to a year at that point, or possibly even right at a year mark. One of the assignments she gave me was write a letter to yourself from five years in the future, to yourself of today. So all of a sudden and by the way that five years is like now so all of a sudden my 10 year old was 15. And I'm Jewish, which meant he would have had his bar mitzvah, I would now have a teenager and like that just freaks me out. But it was really good. And what she said is just describe everything in as much detail as possible. And so I wrote in. I mean I wrote for like two and a half hours, and by wrote I mean typing on the computer and I type quickly. And I just went for two and a half hours going into it. And when I had to describe what I did for work, it was so flat and so without passion, and you know me, I'm super passionate. It was like you buckled down and got a job, you got a side gig and this and that, and you're financially stable and there you go. It literally was like that pitiful of a description. I just couldn't bring myself to do that anymore. That was when I started to realize I need to do what I love. I need to do it for myself and ultimately, I needed to own my time and choices, without asking permission. That was one thing that I was so tired of when I was working for that last corporation.
08:42
My younger son was struggling with anxiety and ADHD. There was one day, I just remember, I was working from home and that was a whole fight with this culture of fear and this culture of not trusting, because it wasn't as common as working from home. Today I'm sitting at my dining room table right behind me and he came up. He's like four years old. He came up, climbed in my lap and hugged me and I'm typing at my computer, worried that I can't stop work because he's going to learn this as a habit and I can't have him crawling into my lap needing that security, and I felt like the shittiest mom in that moment.
09:40
Oh my, he just climbed in my lap and just wrapped himself around me and just hugged me and I was still typing away. I'm sure I probably hugged him for like five, 10 seconds, but that's not what he needed. I wasn't there for him. So when I was laid off, that pit went away because I could be there for my kids. So I made, when I realized this, I made a vow that I would be there for them. Now, truth be told, have there been times when I haven't been able to be there for them as much as I would like to in the past five and a half years? Yes, but for the most part I am here when they get home, like 95% of the time. Back then I had to ask permission to volunteer in their classroom. I don't have to ask permission of anyone.
Karen Covy Host10:34
You mean you had to ask permission from your employer?
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest10:37
Yeah, Because they were so worried that I would miss 20 minutes of work.
Karen Covy Host10:44
That's crazy, mm-hmm.
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest10:47
Me as well. I was one of the most productive people there, so you know. I mean, when my SVP allowed me to work from home, he actually said so you're going to work during your commuting hours too, right?
Karen Covy Host11:08
Oh, my goodness, wow. It sounds like they're letting you go. Was again, in retrospect, the best thing that could have ever happened to you.
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest11:20
It was the best thing, and I will never, ever, have someone talk to me that way again. I will never, you know. Initially I said yes, of course you know what else am I going to say, but in my head I was thinking that's crazy, like I can't believe that he just asked that.
Karen Covy Host11:44
Okay, so I kind of interrupted your story. Yeah, you were there. You get let go. You're looking for a new job. You go to the coach, you decide okay, this is it, I'm going to start my own business. Keep going, yeah.
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest11:59
And I filed my articles of organization and kicked off my business and learned quickly that it was important to immerse myself in the community. So I got involved in the Naperville Area Chamber of Commerce that's my local chamber and I knew no one. I knew, you know, some parents from school, but my corporate job was in a suburb between here and Chicago, so it I wasn't part of the local business community. Yeah, so I got to know Naperville, which is a wonderful community. It's very supportive of small businesses. Our chamber has over 1,100 members and there's just tons of programming and social events.
12:39
And so the first, so funny this is why I'm not good with design. So the first, the first event I went to was like a women in business wine social. So I went and I was, I think, about six weeks into my business at the time. So I had my magnetic name tag. You know that I thought was so important to show, you know, that I'm established. It was on order, so I didn't have it yet. And my business cards were also on order, so I didn't have those yet. So a friend said well, use my computer, use my printer, you know. And I made these postcard size business cards. It was terrible and but I used it as a way to break the ice and say this is why I do strategy. But here's my contact information. Of course I heard from no one, but I kept showing up and I kept showing up and I kept showing up and developing those relationships and developing those friendships and understanding that marketing was actually a sore point for many people.
13:44
Many people, unfortunately, have been burned. They haven't had good experiences. It doesn't meet their expectations. Maybe the marketer that they worked with didn't make sure that they were speaking the same language. A lot of people also may have unrealistic expectations. You know, you put out one thing and you expect it to happen. No campaigns take two to three months usually to start to understand what's working, what's not. Any interaction with prospects, typically five to 12 touch points before a decision is made, before a conversion happens. So it takes time and I don't know if the previous marketers they had worked with had explained that to them.
14:28
You know my approach when working with established small business owners is to coach them. We do immersive style sessions. I help them understand not only the marketing you know, the theory or the practicality or the framework that I take them through but also what are their limiting beliefs? What's holding them back? What are their marketing challenges? Is it really I just need to fill seats you know butts in seats or is it, I don't know, maybe understanding their pain? So oftentimes people will say, well, I need a flyer or I need an email, or I need a social media campaign or I need whatever. But we need to move back and we need to start with the fundamentals, and that is, you know, my. What I do is I help them gain clarity and message and direction. So you have to take action through understanding. So I love decisions. I make them all the time. Sometimes they're wrong, you know well, that's important.
Karen Covy Host15:35
That's an important thing to for people to hear and understand is that when you're making a decision, sometimes you're not going to make what you what feels like the right decision in the moment, although I would say that you know you really never know whether something is the right air quotes decision or not until after some time has gone by and you can look back in retrospect and be able to evaluate it. But you know you mentioned limiting beliefs, right, and I know that's something that a lot of small business owners struggle with. It's also something that it's not necessarily language that way in a marriage situation that you have a limiting belief that life has to be this way. But I work with a lot of people who are struggling in marriages that aren't working for them, aren't fulfilling. They know they need to go, you know, get out of it, but they have one or more limiting beliefs around the marriage and what life would be like if they left it right, absolutely.
Is that something that you had to deal with as you went through your own divorce?
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest16:55
Yeah, and so I'm actually still going through my divorce. Luckily it's an amicable one, but that was a choice, right, that was a choice.
Karen Covy Host17:05
It was about that Well.
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest17:07
So you hear so many times about these knockout drag. You know, knockdown, drag out divorces going to court. Having kids have to, you know, pick. We didn't want that, but I knew staying in my marriage was not something I wanted my kids to model. It wasn't. You know, people say do what's best for the kids, so we'll stay together for the kids. Well, that's not good. If there's tension in the home, that's not good if you're not modeling.
17:39
You know, my parents are still married. They're super cute, very dependent on each other. That's a whole different topic. But they love each other. They absolutely love and respect each other. Now, does my dad annoy my mom? Sure, does my mom annoy my dad? Sure, they've been married for 50 some odd years. That's gonna happen 60?. They got married in 68. It's been a long time.
18:06
So it's about really making sure that you are creating the home and the family. Air quotes. That is right for you. So does family have to mean a mom, a dad and a kid? No, it doesn't. By being divorced, they still have their dad, right, they still have their mom. Maybe they'll be able to see us both in our next relationships happier.
18:45
That's what I want. I want to raise, and I have two sons and they're 12 and 15 right now. Very, you know, impressionable ages, and kids today go through a lot more than we ever did with social media and all the pressures and what have you that we went through when we were growing up. But social media definitely makes it harder. It's really important to know what you want to teach your kids and, as a mom of boys, I want to make sure that I am raising young men who are respectful to women or their partners, whoever. They should be respectful to everyone. They treat their future spouse with respect and honesty and communicate clearly, that they know how to navigate their emotions and that's not easy for boys and that they are able to show love. Yeah, that's it.
19:55
That's what I want, and unfortunately that was not what was happening in my own home. It didn't start out that way. You know. We were married for about 15 years and I realized I can't do this anymore. I'm not being true to who I am, and I think part of it happened because, as a business owner, you do so much growth or you should be growing. I personally was growing and I remember during COVID saying hey, you know, I teach core values, I teach mission.
20:29
I, you know, purpose driven mission. I teach vision. This is what I do with my business owners. It's where I start with all of my clients, because it's so important, because it's so fundamental understanding your why, understanding what drives you, understanding who you are serving. And, Karen, you do an amazing job of serving your clients. You know, I was just one of my friends this morning, actually was going through something and I said go to Karen Covy, she gets in your head. I'm always like Karen, get out of my head. You understand this so well. And then you, it's so important what you do. So thank you for doing what you do, but being able to have that for our family, I wanted to do our core values, I wanted to do a mission for our family and my husband said no and I was like, just know, had no interest in doing it and that broke me.
21:27
That broke my heart. That wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back, but you know, that was one of the contributing factors and I realized I'm growing and growing and he's not willing to, and that's a shame, because when you divorce, you know I lost my best friend, I lost my husband, I lost my partner as a parent. Yes, he's still active and he is a co-parent and we talk and communicate, but not in the same home all the time. It's just different. So it's more I'm updating him rather than experiencing it with him.
Karen Covy Host22:06
Yeah. So you know, because you are a small business owner, you work with small business owners, and because of your own personal experience with divorce, I want to ask you something that I hear from clients so often. It's that, look, I'm a business owner, I can make decisions, or I'm a high level, I'm high in my up in my career, I'm an executive level, I can make decisions at work Boom, boom, no problem. But the family, like the home decisions. What do I do with my marriage, like I've been stuck for years? How did you manage to navigate those decisions? Because, as a business owner, it sounds like you're making decisions all the time too. Okay, how did you transfer that skill set or what did you take from the work and the ability to make decisions at work into your personal life to help you make those big decisions?
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest23:06
Yeah, it's a great question. I think part of it was what do I want for my kids in the future and is the current life giving that to them? The other thing was I felt lonely and I realized I would rather be alone than lonely and I was willing to walk away because it was what's best for me. If I'm not feeling fulfilled, if I'm choosing to work all hours of all days to avoid my personal life, that's not good. No, that's not good. And this had been going on for years, not gradually getting worse. So at first it was maybe a few days here or there, and then maybe it was a little more frequently, and then it was happening every month and then every week, and then it's like I felt like I had a roommate. I'm sure you hear that.
Karen Covy Host24:17
But I'm curious because so many people, especially small business owners, fall into that trap of well, I've just got to work a little more, I need to get this done or that done, whatever it is. At what point or how did you make that realization that you weren't working because it was a business necessity, but because it was a personal escape?
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest24:44
Yeah, I think I always knew, but I felt, because it was very hard to pinpoint what was wrong, what wasn't going right, what happened. And so he wasn't disrespectful to me, to my face, so there wasn't verbal abuse happening. There just weren't those like oh, I can do that. Eventually there was a ticket. He made a big mistake. That's not okay. That doesn't align with my core values, which he was aware of, my core values. And this happens, we're done, something happened, we were done. So it became very easy at that point. What became difficult was my entire future was wiped clean.
Karen Covy Host25:48
That is. I'm so glad you said that, because I really wanted to dive into this with you, because you are so good with, and big on, visioning. What do you want your life to look like? What do you want your future to look like? Well, when something like a divorce happens, it does wipe the slate clean, because the vision that you thought you had, or the life you thought you were going to have, is now not happening.
26:18
So how do you go about recreating a new vision that is in line with what you want and what your values are?
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest26:28
And it was like at first. It's so shocking because for almost 20 years I had this vision and wiped gone. So I can look at it in two ways. We were talking about limiting beliefs before. I can look at it in two ways. I can say everything I ever dreamed of is now gone. It's not going to happen. Or I can say I have a clean slate and I can build whatever I want. And I quickly moved from that first thought of gone to clean slate.
Karen Covy Host27:05
Okay, now you might have quickly moved, but you are, shall we say, perhaps a little unusual in that I am very unusual. So a lot of people get stuck there, and rightly so, because it's it's this is huge.
27:19
When your entire vision for your future is gone, it is shocking. So can you share any tips with people that will help them to vision, to get beyond that pain? Because there's a certain grieving process that has to happen, but how can people get from that grieving process to the point where they can actually see a future for themselves?
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest27:44
Yeah, and there were a couple of things. First of all, as soon as I said you're out, I started seeing a therapist every single week. I still see her every single week. So we're going on what over a year and a half and I think we've missed three because she was on vacation, I was on vacation or there was a whatever. Okay, every single week I also journal. I journal, incredibly, a ton.
28:11
There's actually a great website called privatework.com and it's this guy, joe Stump, and he has all of these different primers and then you can do a one, you can do a one hour. I've done it once. It's that's a big time commitment, but he has one minute one, so maybe there's like three minutes of like input and then he gives you a question and you write for a minute and then there's a little conclusion. So we're talking five to 10 minutes tops. I find writing very therapeutic and I think that's what I always say, cause you know, some of my girlfriends who are in their fifties have said but what do I write about? You know how? How do I journal? And I said you just free, free flow. And just because you write, it doesn't mean it's true, just meaning just because you wrote something down. If you're working something out, then that has to happen. So you know, if you're really angry or you're really upset or you're, you know, thinking about like how you could have done something different, and you just start getting really down on yourself. Just get it out, let it flow, let those emotions flow, and then you can move on. So, so I was writing.
29:37
I also read Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass. I had read that previously. I read badass habits and I read that probably about three or four months after we were separated and it's so, it's so silly. But in the book she's like okay, pick one habit. So of course, you know you start off with a list of 10. Of course my list is like 20, right, it's just like you got to pick one. So throughout the book she gives you guided exercises. So I'm doing them, I'm journaling about them and I'm like, okay, I want to focus on organization. My piles of papers like papers are all over. You can't see them, but they do exist. So they're all over and I realized going through her exercises that I was putting myself last and I think that's. It's so frustrating to be in a house that doesn't have a house, I think that's what I realized in my mind when we were, when we would clean the house, I would figure well, my office only impacts me, so where can I clean?
30:50
that will impact the whole family. Such a great insight, yeah, and I was like, oh, I was so frustrated. So that was very eye-opening. So through the journaling, through that exercise, I was really just focusing. And also in my business right, I coach people about their business vision. Okay, in two hours I can define your core values up to seven of them and a purpose-driven mission, and then, when you're there, we can talk about your vision.
31:31
So when I realized I had a clean slate and I couldn't figure out what I wanted my future to be, all I could visualize was me back in Hawaii, because that's where I'm from, my hair blowing in the wind, in the breeze. I'm on a lani, a balcony, looking out over the ocean. And if I turned around, there was nothing. It was just beige, no furniture, no, nothing. Nobody was with me, nothing. I couldn't see anything. And I was like, oh my God, I do this for a living. Why can't I create my vision? Because you asked how do you create your vision? And then I thought, okay, it'll come to me, it'll come to me and over the next couple of weeks it's in my head going come on, get this vision out, figure it out. I know I'll be in Naperville until my youngest it gets out of high school. But then what? And I have a Remarkable which is like a digital tablet and they have these templates and there was a storyboard template, so normal size sheet of paper kind of thing, but four big boxes and under each of the boxes were maybe five or six lines, so not a lot of space to commit to. The box is supposed to be a design aspect and well, let's just say mine ended up having stick figures in them because I really do not have talent there.
33:00
But I thought, okay, I had been scrolling through Facebook and saw some women that I really enjoy hanging out with and they do storytelling, and every time I'm with them I get happy. And I thought it was end of the year or so, right, doing your annual, you know your New Year's resolutions and I thought, huh, I want to be in their life. I want to not become them, but I want to share my time with them, whether that means I'm storytelling, whether that means I'm volunteering for them or I'm going to show something. That's what I want to do. And so that's when I opened up my Remarkable, I found that template, and that was my first thing. So I wound up creating a little vignette, and then something else sparked, and something else and something else.
33:55
Next thing I know, within a few days, I have 28 vignettes of my vision of what I want in my future. So can I summarize it in one sentence? No, but do I have 28 things that I want to work towards? Yes, and so that's how I was able to get my vision. Just by breaking it down into smaller things, recognizing different parts of my life spirituality, family, business, health, exercise, relationships, community, volunteering, whatever it was I was able to create these little achievable steps. And now I don't have a blank slate. I don't have it perfectly colored in yet either, and that's OK, because who I am today is not who I'm going to be in five or six years 100%, and I think what I'd like to point out about that is you actually did more than that.
Karen Covy Host35:03
What I'm hearing that you did is number one you put the question out there into your subconscious mind, into the ether, into what you put the question out there. When you turned and you only saw beige, you said I want to be able to create a future. What do I want? What do I want, what do I want? And, like you said, the answers were already inside of you. You just had to dig them up. But it starts by and I know this sounds basic to people, but it starts by asking the question.
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest35:34
Absolutely.
Karen Covy Host35:35
And you asked the question and then paid attention for the answers to come, which is all about focus. And then the third thing you did was take action. You opened the Remarkable, you started to write down things and you didn't say, well, I won't write it down until I have the whole thing perfectly planned out. You just started, and so there is so much in there for other people who are listening to do that. It starts by asking the question, being open to receive an answer and being willing to take action when you do, and not just blow it off and go oh no, that's not important, or that's not really all I want, or it's not perfect, right? How many times do we stop ourselves because it's not perfect.
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest36:26
Yeah, I am a recovering perfectionist. But how earlier I was saying, just because you write it down doesn't mean it has to come true. So from time to time I go back and I look at my 28 things, because it helps to go back and read what you have written as your goals. That helps you focus, that helps keep it top of mind, intentional, mindful. I may one day look and say you know what? No, that doesn't seem important to me right now, and then it's OK to erase it or just move on. Yeah, because it's written doesn't mean it has to happen 100%.
Karen Covy Host37:06
I mean there's such gold in what you're saying because so many times we think that once we make a decision or write something down or decide like say this is what I want, that you're stuck with that for the rest of your life.
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest37:21
You can't ever change your mind and get divorced, you're not stuck with any decision, you know.
Karen Covy Host37:28
Yeah, I mean. More often than not, there's always a way to iterate, tweak, change, move. What have you, and this is gold, and it sounds like you can use a similar process in business and in your personal life. Like this, what you're talking about sounds to me like it would work in either context, or am I missing something?
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest37:53
No, it totally does, absolutely. Now, with business, typically I will say you know, when we're figuring out strategies, have a smart goal, specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-based. With business, you do need to be focused and mindful about your mission and your vision. You don't want that changing so often. It's fine to evaluate, but you don't want to. Just because something doesn't work doesn't mean you scrap it right? Edison failed, right? No, he just found 10,000 ways. A light bulb doesn't work. So I like the fail acronym of first attempt in learning and with perfectionism, it was stunting my growth as a business owner. With my first website, with anything, with an email, with a blog post, anything. It was slowing it down and all I need to remember is if my dream client is in front of me saying please help me, am I really going to say oh, no. But I need to rephrase this one thing you just sit in pain while I work some things out. No, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to do whatever I can to serve my dream client.
Karen Covy Host39:14
That makes a lot of sense, Alexis. I think that we could probably talk for hours, but in the interest of saving your time, being respectful of your time and of our listeners' time, I think I'd like to wrap this up, but just one final question. If you had one piece of advice to give someone who is facing a major decision, a major life change, whether that's personal, whether that's business, what would you share with them?
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest39:45
I would say take the time to really reflect. Does this reflect your core values? Your core values are such a great decision screener. And, ultimately, that realization when I read that chapter, when I realized I was putting everybody else's needs ahead of mine, the limiting beliefs. We are a family unit. We all need to stay under one roof. That's a big one. Really ask yourself what is the benefit of making this decision. Is it aligned with who I am, who I want to be? Does it align with my values? If other people aren't on board with it, you may have some other decisions to make.
Karen Covy Host40:37
Such great advice. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. I just wanted to say I know you have a gift for our listeners, so can you tell me about that?
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest40:46
I do, as we had talked about. When I entered the entrepreneurial world networking, even though I am an extrovert and I love meeting people and I've done it every single day since I went to college I always met at least one new person a day. I was terrible at networking. I saw other people. Well, they had some room for improvement as well. After attending over 500 networking events and meetings in a matter of just four years-ish, I created a framework for business owners to network and create unforgettable introductions.
41:28
Attract your dream clients and network fearlessly. The bitly where you can go and learn more is bitly/networkfearlessly. The promo code for $50 off for your listeners is guess what? TAKEACTION. All in caps. One word take action. You'll get $50 off of this course. During the course, it's not only the 30-second introduction, what you say, but it's how you say it, why you're saying it, who you're saying it to different people that you meet. It's not only about meeting your prospective clients. There's lots of other different roles that we interact with. We talk about manifesting the right mindset, following up, following through. It's a huge course 29 videos spread out over two and a quarter hours. It is packed full of value. There are five worksheets. I truly believe that this is life-changing for any small business owner who wants to have better effects or effectiveness while they're networking.
Karen Covy Host42:36
That's beautiful. Thank you so much for that, Alexis. One last question where can people find you? If they were looking for you, if they were interested in connecting or maybe in doing business with you, where's the best place for them to go?
Alexis Skigen Rago Guest42:50
Sure, I actually have a digital business card that has all of my social media and some of my landing pages. It's dot.cards/alohaalexis.
Karen Covy Host43:14
You are so progressive I love it I love it.
43:17
I've loved talking to you. I think that there's so much that you've shared that can help other people out there in their business, in their personal life, in making decisions, because that's really what all of this is about. Thank you so much. I've really enjoyed our time and, for those of you who are out there watching or listening, if you enjoyed this episode, if you like what you heard, if you want to hear more episodes just like this, then please do me a big favor like subscribe. It makes a huge difference to me and to the show and I look forward to seeing you all again next time.
