A divorce coach is a trained divorce professional (often a lawyer, mediator, or therapist) who guides and supports you so that you can get through the divorce process with more confidence and clarity. Divorce coaches work at the intersection of law, therapy, and practicality, helping you manage both the stress and the process of divorce so that you can minimize your conflict and expense.

A divorce coach:

• Provides you with decision-making strategies and support so that you can make the right decisions for you and your family, starting with the question of “Should I get a divorce?” and continuing through decisions surrounding your home, your investments, your children and more.

• Works with you to create a strategy and a plan for your divorce so that you emerge from your divorce healthy, whole, and ready to start your new life.

• Helps you create and manage your divorce team so that you get the professional help you need while minimizing the amount of money you spend.

• Facilitates more effective communicate with your spouse, even when you’re in a high conflict situation or are married to a high-conflict spouse

5. Prepares you for mediation, negotiation, hearings and trial so that you have the best chance for success.

A divorce lawyer gives you legal advice, prepares and files court documents, represents you in court, fights to get you the best financial settlement and the most time with your kids, negotiates the main terms of your divorce, and drafts all of your legal documents.

A divorce coach gives you practical advice, helps you formulate a strategy and a plan for your entire divorce (not just the legal part), helps you work with and manage your professional team, enables you to communicate more effectively with your spouse, helps you manage your emotions, and prepares you for each step in the divorce process before it happens.

A therapist helps you heal your deep-seated emotional issues from the past, understand how and why your marriage broke down, deal with your emotions, helps you work through your grief and loss, teaches you how to build behaviors that will serve you better in your divorce and your life, enables you to communicate more effectively with your spouse and helps you identify and manage mental health issues, especially those like anxiety and depression, which can arise during divorce. A therapist focuses on healing your past.

A divorce coach focuses on your present future. S/he helps you create a strategy and plan that will get you through your divorce as efficiently as possible, while minimizing your conflict and expense. A divorce coach will also help you communicate more effectively with your spouse, and manage your own emotions, but s/he can not diagnose or treat any mental illness.

Yes. Divorce coaches and divorce lawyers do very different things. A lawyer is going to get you through the legal system and draft up your documents. A coach is going to help you manage your emotions, communicate more effectively with your spouse and create a strategy and a plan to get you through your divorce.

Divorce coaches are also substantially less expensive than divorce lawyers AND they can help you save money in legal fees.

Yes. Divorce coaches and therapists do very different things. A therapist is going to help you manage your emotions, as well as your grief and sense of loss. S/he will also help you manage any mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression, that arise during (or because of) your divorce.

A divorce coach will also help you manage your emotions, but s/he can’t diagnose or treat any mental health issues in your or your spouse. A divorce coach also has specific and extensive expertise in divorce and the divorce process, which most therapists do NOT have.

No. Divorce coaches can work in any state. The most important question to ask when selecting a divorce coach is NOT what state they live in, but how deep their expertise is in divorce, the divorce process and divorce coaching.

A high-conflict divorce coach is someone who specializes in coaching those who are navigating a divorce with a narcissistic or high-conflict spouse. Most divorce coaches have been trained to work with anyone who is thinking about, going through, or recovering from a divorce. But those who specialize solely in high-conflict divorce coaching have generally gone through a high conflict divorce themselves.

When choosing a divorce coach, especially a high-conflict divorce coach, it’s extremely important to choose someone who has in-depth knowledge and expertise in the legal, emotional and psychological aspects of divorce. Unfortunately, many coaches who hold themselves out as being high-conflict divorce coaches have few qualifications other than having survived a high-conflict divorce themselves and maybe completed a quick course on coaching.

Everyone who is thinking about or navigating through a divorce will benefit from working with a divorce coach. However, coaching is particularly helpful for those who are navigating grey divorce and those who have complex personal and financial situations - like having special needs children, being married to a high-conflict spouse, owning a business, or having substantial assets and debts that need to be allocated in a divorce.

While divorce coaches can save you a lot of money in legal fees and other divorce expenses, they are an added upfront expense. So while everyone could benefit from using a divorce coach, not everyone will be able to afford one.

Anyone who cannot afford to pay BOTH a divorce coach AND a lawyer should hire a lawyer, not a coach. The legal system is complicated, confusing, and NOT user-friendly. Even though hiring a coach will ultimately save you money in legal fees, if you don’t have the money up front to pay for both professionals, invest in a lawyer.

Divorce coaching is also not appropriate for anyone who

• has serious, untreated mental health issues,

• is looking for someone else to make their divorce decisions for them,

• can’t or won’t take advice or constructive feedback

• want someone to just “fix” their lives (coaches are thought partners, not magicians)

• is overwhelmed by grief, sadness, or depression (a coach can help, but getting a therapist would be better.)

You should hire a divorce coach as soon as you start thinking seriously about getting a divorce. If you’re still in the stage of just contemplating divorce, make sure the divorce coach you intend to work with has experience in decision coaching as well.

Divorce coaches are particularly helpful in the early stages of divorce as they can help you:

• understand what you’re facing,

• make a plan and strategy to navigate through your divorce with less conflict and expense,

• organize your financial documents so that you spend less money in legal fees,

• put together the best divorce professional team for you, and

• support you as you begin your divorce.

Divorce coaches are also very effective in helping you navigate high-conflict co-parenting after your divorce is over.

A divorce coach:

• Educates you about divorce and the divorce process so that you don’t make decisions blindly

• Focuses you on your future even while you’re feeling stressed by your divorce, and helps you create realistic divorce goals

• Helps you create a workable plan for getting through your divorce and achieving your goals

• Acts as your accountability partner to keep you focused and moving forward

• Helps you get organized and gather necessary information, both financial information and information related to your children

• Assists you in putting together your divorce team, including other divorce professionals you may need to get through your divorce more effectively

• Provides you with tools and techniques that will help you communicate better with your spouse to so you can co-parent more peacefully

• Helps you create a workable parenting plan based on your situation

• Provides you with strategies for dealing with a difficult spouse/ex both during and after divorce

• Prepares you for every step in the divorce process including mediation, trials, hearings, custody evaluations, and more

Karen Covy is a divorce coach, decision coach, legal consultant, mediator, lawyer, arbitrator, Collaborative Divorce professional, author, speaker and podcaster. She has been guiding clients through divorce in various ways for over 30 years.

Karen empowers people who are thinking about or facing divorce with the clarity, confidence, and strategic support they need to choose a path that protects their peace, their future, and their dignity.

Karen Covy provides her clients with reliable, confidential, and expert guidance through the decision-making and divorce process so they can navigate this challenging life transition with confidence. Karen combines the heart of a human with the mind of a lawyer and decades of experience working as a lawyer, mediator, arbitrator, Collaborative Divorce professional and a coach.

Karen empowers her clients to become the CEOs of their own divorce so that they can get through this difficult life transition with dignity and grace, then go on to create fulfilling relationships and lives that truly light them up.

Karen works as a divorce coach and decision coach with successful professionals and business owners all over the world who are thinking about, or facing, divorce. Karen helps her clients decide whether to get a divorce with confidence. She also assists them in preparing for divorce and creating a plan that encompasses all aspects of their divorce so they can divorce with the least amount of conflict and expense, while also not getting taken advantage of in the process.

Karen offers 1:1 coaching services, as well as the self-directed online programs: The Divorce Road Map 3.0 and How to Successfully Mediate Your Divorce.

Karen also offers online programs The Divorce Road Map 3.0, and How to Successfully Mediate your divorce as well as her books When Happily Ever After Ends: How to Survive Your Divorce Emotionally, Financially and Legally, and The Strategic Divorce Guide.

Karen also offers mediation services in the State of Illinois to those who have complex financial or personal situations to navigate and would prefer to do so outside of the court system.

In addition to her paid programs and services Karen also provides a multitude of free divorce resources for anyone contemplating or facing divorce, including the podcast: Off the Fence with Karen Covy: Mastering Decision-Making, Divorce and More , hundreds of videos on her YouTube channel and hundreds of authoritative, in-depth articles on her Divorce Blog.

Divorce coaching is highly personal and completely individualized. It combines education, application, preparation, planning and support. Karen Covy offers 1:1 coaching via telephone or Zoom for her private clients. Karen’s clients also may get access to her online programs for 24/7 educational support, depending on the terms of their engagement and their needs. To discover more, contact Karen.

Quality divorce coaching isn’t free. But, like everything else worth having in life, you get what you pay for. And the guidance you get from a coach with Karen’s level of experience and expertise is priceless.

Unlike most divorce lawyers and therapists, Karen no longer bills by the hour for her coaching services. She primarily offers her coaching on a package basis depending on what her clients need. With each package, clients know exactly what coaching services they will receive and exactly what price they will pay, with no surprises. To learn more about the various coaching programs and packages that Karen offers, reach out.

Karen also offers her mediation services on an hourly basis.

To learn more about Karen Covy’s coaching packages, and determine if divorce or decision coaching would be right for you, reach out and contact Karen.