Episode Description - Jackie Pilossoph Shares Her Tips for Finding Holiday Joy.
Navigating the holidays when you’re going through a divorce – or have recently gone through a divorce – can really suck. Money will likely be tighter, you may not see your kids as much, and the holiday traditions you once cherished are likely to be gone forever.
But just because your holidays will be undeniably different, that doesn’t mean they have to be miserable.
In this podcast episode, divorce expert Jackie Pilossoph—creator of Divorced Girl Smiling—shares deeply relatable stories and actionable tips for surviving the holidays, even if you’re feeling sad, alone, or overwhelmed. Jackie opens up about her own experience of spending her first Christmas without her kids, offering insights on how to honor your emotions while finding ways to reclaim joy during these tough times.
If you’re alone today – or on any major holiday – Jackie’s creative and practical ideas can help you feel better right now, even if you didn’t plan ahead. You’ll discover how taking even small steps can shift your mindset and improve your mood, even when you think that’s impossible.
Don’t struggle through the holiday season! Take a break. Listen to this episode. You’ll feel better.
[SPOILER ALERT: This episode just might make you feel SO good that you even forget how miserable you just were!]
Show Notes
About Jackie
Jackie Pilossoph is the creator and Editor-in-chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, a media company comprised of a website, podcast, mobile app and professional resources. Jackie holds a Masters degree in Broadcast Journalism and is a former television news reporter and features reporter and writer for the Chicago Tribune.
Where to Connect with Jackie
You can connect with Jackie on Facebook at Divorced Girl Smiling or in her Facebook Group, The Divorced Girl Smiling Group. She is on LinkedIn as Divorced Girl Smiling. You can also find her on her website at DivorcedGirlSmiling.com.
Special Offer:
The DGS Club offers support groups for women facing divorce and recovering from divorce. The Club runs in 4 week sessions. To find out more information and see when the next session begins go to Divorced Girl Smiling.com and click the tab "DGS Club".
Key Takeaways From This Episode with Jackie
- Jackie Pilossoph, creator of Divorced Girl Smiling, shares personal experiences and advice for people going through divorce during holidays, emphasizing that it's possible to have a positive experience even when feeling alone.
- For parents without their children on a holiday like Christmas, she recommends:
- Declaring a "ceasefire" from divorce-related conflicts
- Focusing on self-care and personal activities
- Creating alternative celebration times with children
- Practical suggestions for spending holidays alone include:
- Taking walks
- Volunteering
- Engaging in personal projects
- Watching movies
- Connecting with community groups online
- Parents struggling with guilt about divorce should remember that children are often better off with separated parents who are happier, rather than staying in an unhealthy relationship.
- New Year's is viewed as an especially hopeful holiday during divorce, representing a fresh start and an opportunity for personal reflection and setting new goals.
- Self-care during holidays isn't just about relaxation, but encompasses physical activity, emotional well-being, and engaging in activities that bring joy.
- The interview emphasizes the importance of not wallowing in sadness, but actively creating positive experiences, even if it means initially "faking it until you make it."
- Practical tips include:
- Watching Netflix
- Enjoying classic movies
- Potentially dog-sitting for a friend
- Pursuing personal hobbies or creative projects
- The conversation highlights that a significant portion of the population experiences holidays alone due to divorce, normalizing the experience and reducing feelings of isolation.
- Gratitude and giving back are powerful tools for shifting perspective during difficult times, with suggestions like volunteering or connecting with others in similar situations.
- The overarching message is one of hope: the difficult times will pass, and by maintaining a positive attitude and being proactive, individuals can create meaningful and enjoyable holiday experiences during and after divorce.
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Transcript
Divorcing During the Holidays? Jackie Pilossoph Shares How to Find Joy
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
transformation, self-care, resilience
SPEAKERS
Karen Covy, Jackie Pilossoph
Karen Covy Host
00:10
Hello and welcome to Off the Fence, a podcast where we deconstruct difficult decision-making so we can discover what keeps us stuck and, more importantly, how we can get unstuck and start making even tough decisions with confidence. I'm your host, Karen Covy, a former divorce lawyer, mediator and arbitrator, turned coach, author and entrepreneur. And now, without further ado, let's get on with the show
With me today I have a very special guest who is the only person I have ever interviewed twice on this podcast, so far. So that shows you how amazing she is. We're talking with Jackie Pilossoph. Jackie is the creator and editor-in-chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, a media company comprised of a website, podcast, mobile app and professional resources. Jackie holds a master's degree in broadcast journalism and is a former television news reporter and features reporter and writer for the Chicago Tribune. Her syndicated weekly column, Love Essentially was published in the Pioneer Press, the Chicago Tribune and all Tribune publishing editions for six and a half years. Jackie was also a Huffington Post divorce blogger for five years. Jackie, welcome back to the show.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
01:32
Thanks, Karen. I always enjoy talking to you, on and off camera.
Karen Covy Host
01:38
And the same goes for me too, and I wanted to have this very special edition and I wanted to say thank you for agreeing to have a podcast that's going to come out on Christmas. Now, it's not Christmas today full disclosure but I thought we could have a really good conversation about what it's like to get divorced, either during the holidays, or maybe people are alone on Christmas, and not just Christmas, but there's New Year's, there's Easter, there's Valentine's Day, there's all the holidays, and that can be a really tough time to go through a divorce. And you wrote an article and I just have to say I love the title. I love it. Let me make sure I get it exactly right now.
02:24
It's Going Through a Divorce During the Holidays Can Feel Like a Punch in the Stomach, and that just kind of says it all you know. So let's start with people who are going through a divorce during the holidays, right, and it's it may be the first time that they don't have. They're not going to be with their kids, or they're not going to be with their kids for the whole holiday. So what kind of tips can you share with people like who have children? They're going through a divorce? This just doesn't look like it's going to be a good holiday. How can what? What can they do? How can you help them?
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
03:02
So I guess the best way for me to start is with my own story. So I got divorced in, I got separated in August, so you know that wasn't like a lot of times. So when Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's came around, it was still extremely fresh. And Christmas Day my ex had the kids and came and picked them up and took them away for the whole night and day of Christmas Eve and Christmas. And you know I don't celebrate Christmas. Well, I did when I was married with him, but I didn't.
03:37
And I so you would think like, oh, that's OK, it wasn't a big deal, it was a huge deal. It was depressing, lonely, I felt like a loser, I didn't want to go anywhere, isolated, and, looking back, I think everyone has the right to feel those feelings, but there's so much more. I think you and I, Karen, can really help because if you choose to look at it in the right way, you're going to be just fine, and I was just fine. And I spent several more Christmases alone and I really was not depressed. I don't remember those Christmases as being really sad or awful or you know I was crying all day. Not at all.
Karen Covy Host
04:29
You know what about people? Because somebody says, okay, it's easy to say you know, don't be depressed, but I just they feel bad, they're all alone. What kinds of things could they do on a holiday? I know right now, like when people are listening to this, it's going to be Christmas, so it's a little late to plan ahead, which is a piece of advice I always give to people, saying plan ahead, you know Christmas is coming, Try to have something for yourself to do, Right. But let's say it's Christmas, or you know Easter or Thanksgiving or any holiday, and you're all by yourself. What could you do to make yourself feel better?
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
05:09
Well, what time is this podcast dropping? On Christmas day, Right like what time.
Karen Covy Host
05:16
Oh, I don't like 10:30?
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
05:19
Okay, so the reason I asked is there's still time to plan. If you're listening to this in the morning or the afternoon, like I know, you could sit down and just think like what do I want to do today? Like the whole attitude should be like you know what? I don't have to work. There's something beautiful about Christmas and the holidays and it's just like a really holy day about Christmas and the holidays and it's just like a really holy day. You know, Christmas is all about giving and love, and so really try to go there and give yourself a little break from your divorce, like say you know what today, this is all about the spirit of the holiday, about the spirit of the holiday about giving, about miracles, about God, whatever it means to you, and then say I can do anything I want. I can go to the grocery store and get a bunch of ingredients and make or bake something. I can take a bath and get some candles out and sit in there as long as I want. I can clean out. One year I cleaned out my entire basement and then I was like, oh my gosh, it's already 10 o'clock at night and I felt so productive and I was having a good time because you know, when you clean stuff out, you see all these like other memories and oh, art projects of the kids. It was very fun for me, so you can find something to do around your house. Or you can say I'm going to go on a 30 minute walk really fast. It's good for you physically, it's good for your emotional health. It will help you just be more spiritual and really think and clear your head.
07:11
You could go outside. You could call a friend who you also know is single and say hey, it's only noon. Do you want to get together for dinner? Come over, we'll order Chinese or make something or whatever, so, whatever. So I mean I could just go on and on, but you don't have to just say, oh, this is a wash, I'm gonna lay in bed and cry all day. But if you want to lay in bed and cry for like a few minutes, do it.
Karen Covy Host
Yeah, I think. I love the way you pull things out, that even if it's 10:30 in the morning on Christmas day, it's that's not too late. You can still plan. It all depends on your mindset, and are you looking to for some way to make yourself feel better, or are you just looking to make yourself feel miserable all day long? Because we all, we both know you can do that if that's what you want to do, but at the end of the day you're just going to feel terrible.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
08:07
And you know I know this for sure For people listening it's Christmas Day. You're going to wake up tomorrow and you're going to be like, wow, that wasn't that bad. You're not going to wake up and go. That was the worst day of my life. There's no way you know what the worst day of your life was when your ex did something to you or you knew you were getting divorced or you got in a huge fight. Those were bad days. This is a beautiful, peaceful day and as long as you know your kids are safe and healthy with your ex and you're not worried about them, it's all good.
Karen Covy Host
08:40
Well, okay, let's take that example about the kids. What if you and your ex it's Christmas Day and you're still fighting about when does he bring the kids back, or when does she pick the kids up, or whatever? You're still fighting about the schedule on Christmas Day? What then? You know you can say, well, my ex just ruined Christmas for me and the kids. What do you do when you're in that situation.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
09:07
You declare a ceasefire for Christmas Day. You just have to. That's it. It's a ceasefire. Nobody. Don't let your ex envelop your thoughts on Christmas Day. Get out of that mindset just for today. You can go back to it tomorrow if you want, but for today, this is Christmas. Just take a break and think of all the wonderful people in your life. Make a list, sit down and write down a list of everyone who means something to you and why, like do that. You'll feel so much better. Put on Christmas music. I would bake cookies, listen to Christmas music and then, when your kids get home, you can be like look what mom baked, and you can celebrate Christmas with your kids. By the way, when they get home or before they leave, there are no rules. The kids are never gonna remember that it wasn't actually Christmas day that you celebrated with them.
Karen Covy Host
10:07
Yeah, that's true. That is such a good point. And you know there's so many things that you can do if you let yourself think about it. And I love that. You said get out, take a walk. If you can get out into nature, that's so much better. But when you're physically active, when you're exercising, even if it's just walking, it changes your state, it changes your blood flow. You're breathing deeper. All of a sudden you will feel better. You can't wallow and be miserable when you're moving.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
10:42
Okay, I have another great idea Google. If it's Christmas Day and you're on your computer, google like volunteer opportunities in blank, your town, maybe there's some soup kitchen or somewhere where they need you, or somewhere even you can give a monetary donation or you can walk over with some cans of soup or anything. If you give back, especially on Christmas, you are going to be so happy and feel so good that your divorce won't even mean any like. You'll just not even think about it because you will feel so wonderful for giving back. So volunteering is a good thing, and if you can plan ahead for the next holiday that you're dreading and you volunteer, that's a really powerful way to feel good about a holiday.
Karen Covy Host
11:35
I agree with that completely. I mean, I think gratitude is always a game changer, and so is giving back. Not just because you see, oh, they have it worse than me, although that's part of it but you feel a connection to people, you feel like you're doing something for another human. It's a beautiful way, and what I love about this conversation is that you're saying, because so many people would say, oh, it's too late, it's too late, it's 10 o'clock already, or 11 o'clock in the morning. What can I do now? But there's probably a lot that you can still do.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
12:13
Yeah, If you go on Facebook like your community groups and stuff like that, you might find a volunteer opportunity and go on over there with some soup cans. I'm telling you, you'll feel great.
Karen Covy Host
12:30
Or even if you don't find the volunteer opportunity to your point, going on a Facebook group will help. You see, there are a lot of other people who you know and you can if you, even if your volunteer opportunity doesn't have to be something official. So maybe they're in like in your group in the Divorced Girl Smiling Facebook group, right, and there's somebody else that's saying hey, I'm feeling down, it's the holidays. If you can write something to that person and help bring them up, you're going to feel better about yourself too, and both of you are going to have a better day.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
13:03
And that is such a good point. Karen and I had something on the tip of my tongue and now I completely just spaced what I was going to say. Move on, I'll think of it in a minute.
Karen Covy Host
13:14
But OK, so those are all the kinds of things that you can do on a holiday or planning for a holiday. What about? What about the guilt that you feel like, oh my gosh, I've ruined my kids Christmas or holidays?
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
13:29
I remembered what I was going to say, because you said, okay, think about this. 50% of the country is divorced. If you believe those statistics or whatever, even if it was like 40%, that means that 50% of the population who's divorced is spending Christmas without their kids. So when you said there's so many other people who are alone, there you go it's so many.
Karen Covy Host
14:01
Yeah, it's a ton of people. But how do you, if you're a parent, how do you deal with the guilt when the voice in the voice in your head is saying you're not together as a family because maybe you're the one who decided to divorce or you know you've, even if it wasn't your decision, you've ruined your children's holidays for the rest of their life and blah, blah, blah, and you just feel so bad about yourself.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
14:24
Well, say to that person well, you ask yourself are my kids better off not having both their parents on Christmas, or would they rather have both their parents? But then the other 364 days out of the year their parents are fighting. They don't see any love. They know that dad and mom is cheating. Whatever the reason is, you're getting divorced. Kids feel it, even if they don't know. They deep down know or they will know someday, and so it's one day and kids don't remember that they spent the holidays apart. That kids are very, I think, because I have two kids, not like I'm a therapist or anything, but like. My kids are 21 and 23. And growing up they were always with their dad, because he celebrates Christmas and I don't, but they always like in their minds it's like Thanksgiving we're always with mom and her family. Christmas we're always with dad and his family. These kids are very happy. They feel very loved by both parents and believe me when I tell you they would be a lot worse off if their parents stayed together.
Karen Covy Host
15:40
Believe me when I say that, and there's something to be said for getting double sets of presents, double celebrations. You know we have a tendency to focus on all the negative ways that divorce will impact our children, but there are positives too. I'm sure you saw that with your kids, you know absolutely.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
16:04
And they get double the love too, like they're, you know, because there's less people. So you know, like I know, my kids are a huge center of attention at my ex's family's house, you know, and then they're the huge center of attention at mine. Kids are going to do great and if you in your heart know that this divorce is really what should be and is the best thing, there's nothing to feel guilty about. But let's shift to Karen, people who are listening to this, who were blindsided and were left. You know, what do you do about them? Like, how would they feel? The people who um their spouse left them?
Karen Covy Host
Are you talking about people who have their kids with them? Or maybe their spouse left them and he has the kids for the holidays? Because those are two separate circumstances, right? So if you've got your kids and, let's say, your spouse just up and left and you and the kids are alone, then I think, as a parent, you have a responsibility to try to make the best of it for your kids, even if you feel like wallowing up into a little ball, curling up in a ball in the bed. You can't do that, you know, get up, put on your game face, and there's so many things that you can do with kids to have fun. You know different things play games, watch movies, go for a walk, like there's all kinds of things.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
17:37
I I couldn't agree more and I really believe that you don't have to fake it like, yeah, you got to put on your game face. But once you start putting on your game face and sort of faking it, it turns into real happiness. Because, think about it, who isn't happy when they're around kids and Christmas? Yeah, of course you're going to be happy. So, yes, maybe what you just need is a starter. But what about if you're home alone and your spouse left? What do you say to those people?
Karen Covy Host
18:11
What I say to those people initially is don't wait till Christmas, okay. Make a plan beforehand and figure out something that you like to do. I know, for example, Jackie, you wrote an article about the importance of self-care during the holidays. Right, and self-care we all think you know candles and bubble baths or at least women think candles and bubble baths right. But there's more to it than that. There's taking care of your physical self, like we said, getting out, getting some exercise, moving. There's your emotional well-being. There's so much involved with taking care of yourself.
18:50
So, if you can make a plan to do something fun, something maybe that you haven't done in a long time like, for example, I love to read, right, and I don't always get a chance to read Well, go buy that guilty pleasure novel that you've been wanting to read. And what's wrong with sitting home opening the book and just spending the day reading? If that's something that gives you joy, right. And even if you hadn't planned it in advance, if you've got a book laying around, if there's a movie you want to watch, if there's whatever you know something that you like doing, go do that. You know it's not. I love that you say it's never too late. What would you say to people who you know they're? They're all alone. They maybe didn't make a plan and they know okay, I should have, but now they're in the soup, so to speak. What could they do to pull out the day and make it to make? I know it's a cliche to make lemonade from lemons, but you get the idea.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
19:52
Oh, one word Netflix. I truly. But I'm a big movie person, I love shows and movies and they take me away and I'm captivated and really, if anybody wants to know what to watch, I mean just email me, you know, because I've seen everything. I'm like hooked. It's my decompression, escape from life and everything going on and I truly have found so much enjoyment and I like being bored and watching Netflix shows. Yeah, you know. Another thing is like you could watch. It's a Wonderful Life how I could watch that movie and probably have every Christmas for my since I can remember.
Karen Covy Host
20:43
I totally love watching the old Christmas movies, like the ones that were out when I was a kid, right, and I'm not going to say what they are, because that will totally date me, but I mean, It’s A Wonderful Life was way before our time, yes, yes, that's true, it was even older than I am. But it's like get those the classics right, something with Bing Crosby or like. I don't remember the names of these movies, but you know some Christmas special that you liked when you were a kid. Or watch the Grinch or what like something that makes you laugh. Anything that you know brings you back to a different place in time and you can but use it and get into the movie.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
21:28
Don't use it as an opportunity to say, oh, I remember I used to watch this one, you know, like that's not we don't want to go there but sometimes like good ugly crying is good, like you can watch a show and just be like, just start sobbing and it feels so good and there's a difference between crying because you're sad and crying because you're emotional. I mean, I love happy ugly crying, I do, and maybe those shows, like, will give you the emotion of when you were young and you had great parents and it was a happy time and you know it's okay to cry for that reason.
Karen Covy Host
22:13
Yeah, I agree. I mean sometimes when you get that, you know you're crying so much you've got and you can't catch your breath. You got the wolfies. You know there's nothing wrong with that. When you're crying about whatever's going on in the screen and it kind of it can be cathartic, it like gets it out of your system. If that feels bad, good to you in the moment, right, but what you don't want to do is spend the day wallowing, crying because that doesn't feel good right.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
22:44
I just thought of another thing that you could do not today because it's too late, but for other holidays offer to watch your friend's dog. Okay, because I'm telling you there is nothing that takes away loneliness more than a dog, and you could just maybe your friend's going somewhere for the whole day and the dog's going to be home alone Say, bring her over to my house, you will have so much fun, you'll feel so loved, you will not feel alone, you can sit and snuggle.
Karen Covy Host
23:19
I love that you can go for a walk with the dog. You can totally spoil the dog, because it's not your dog and if it, you know, if it's not allowed on the furniture at home, you're going to be the dog's new best friend. It's going to think that it's scored with you.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
23:34
You know, snuggling up on the couch.
Karen Covy Host
23:37
But let's talk about another holiday, a holiday that can actually be a good holiday if you're going through a divorce or any kind of major life change, and that's New Year's Day, New Year's Eve, new Year's Day. You wrote an article about this too, about why New Year's can actually be a good day if you're going through a divorce. Let's talk about that. Why is New Year's different?
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
24:01
Well, New Year's is like all of these holidays we're talking about when you get divorced. They're like a first your first Christmas, your first Valentine's Day, your first Mother's Day, your first birthday, whatever. But New Year's is always. Of course, it's going to be a first, but it's always like a new beginning. It's like you get to start over a new year and you leave behind all of the crap that happened the year before and you get to make a new start. It's a new. New is like the key word.
24:39
And so I just pulled up the article and I think it's really funny because I actually had a string of like New Year's where like bad stuff happened to me. Like one time I got a call and I thought I was getting a job offer and it was a guy telling me I wasn't getting the job. I also had a miscarriage on New Year's Eve day and then I also had a huge accident at my gym. I forgot about this and broke my wrist on New Year's Eve, so during the day, so I don't know, but I've had many, many more good New Year's Eves than I've had bad. But I wrote it in the article so that people would say like, wow, maybe my life isn't really that bad.
Karen Covy Host
25:29
You know, I had a friend who I think it was three years in a row because, look, let's, let's face it, New Year's Eve, all the crazy drivers are out. I don't know if you've ever driven on New Year's Eve.
25:42
Like I've been in downtown Chicago driving on New Year's Eve. That is this like I don't know what I was thinking. It was the dumbest idea ever. It's two o'clock in the morning and people are like just walking out in front of traffic and everybody's drunk. It was horrible, right, it's like you've got to be so careful, but I had a friend who, three years in a row, she went out on New Year's Eve and three years in a row. She got in accidents that totally were not her fault.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
26:06
Yeah.
Karen Covy Host
26:08
I mean they weren't bad, but still it's like two o'clock in the morning. It's New Year's Eve. It's freezing cold. You're you know you're in an accident. You're waiting for the like. Who wants that right?
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
26:17
So I would never have gone out after the first accident.
Karen Covy Host
26:21
Well, after the third one, she called it quit. She's like no, no, no, no, no. You want New Year's Eve parties? You come to my house, I'm done Right and I can. So the point is, New Year's Eve isn't necessarily all it's cracked up to be Sometimes being home by yourself, safe and warm in your house, you know, with food that you like and you don't have to impress anybody. You don't have to wear the you know that tall high heels where your feet are killing you, it's not a bad thing.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
26:49
Absolutely. I never go out on New Year's. I mean, if I do, it's like a really early dinner. But we always try to do something a little special just to celebrate, whether it's ordering from a really fancy place or cooking something really fancy, you know, or playing games, like those cute little card games you can play that are, by the way, absolutely hysterical. Oh, and I just forgot last New Year's I had COVID. Hopefully this New Year's I'll be able to do something, hopefully you will. It's terrible, you know. New Year's really is a great holiday. If you're getting divorced because it's that newness, you can say, okay, nothing can be worse than this past year, right, and the year is behind you.
27:41
Now that past year is gone, you're starting all fresh Right and you get to make resolutions, of course, and that could be anything during divorce, like I'm not going to bad mouth my ex to everybody so much. Like maybe you're telling all your friends and family and just talking crap about your ex and maybe you're thinking I'm better than that, I don't want to do that anymore. What a great resolution that is because it's so much better for you if you just remove yourself from that toxicity.
Karen Covy Host
28:16
I couldn't agree more. And what I like about New Year's is that it's a time for introspection, right. It's the time when you're allowed to sit down and say, okay, what do I want next year to look like, what do I want? In our society, we run from busy to busy to busy to thing to thing to thing, and we don't sit down and take time to think. And New Year's is almost a time where you can give yourself permission to do that and to make those resolutions. Or if you don't want to call them resolutions, call them whatever you want, you know, call it chopped liver, for all that matters. Just sit down and think about what kind of a life do I want to create for myself in the next year? And that can be inspiring, that can be exciting, that can be a really good thing, right?
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
29:05
I really think that when the holidays are over, people are almost relieved. You know how. You're just kind of like okay, I'm ready to be more productive again. Yeah, everyone just sort of you know, works and eats a lot and doesn't go to the gym, and there's something so nice about like, hey, it's like January 2nd, let's get back into it.
Karen Covy Host
29:32
Yeah, you know what? I agree. I'm a little nutty though that way, because I love what I do, and I know you do too, so going back to work is actually a good thing I actually don't even like weekends anymore. That's how much I love working.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
29:43
Oh my gosh. I mean like sometimes I'm really happy that it's Monday morning you know.
Karen Covy Host
29:56
So I know what you mean. Yeah, I mean, I love what I do. I work a lot and I know you know no apologies for it, I you know because this is what I enjoy. But you know, and if you it, if it's not what you enjoy, then maybe your new year's resolution for the next year is to get a new job, to create a different business, to find something that does give you joy.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
30:15
Well, and that is a great tip for those home alone on Christmas or other holidays what do you love to do? For me it was writing. I wrote half a novel one Christmas. You know, I was just typing away writing because that's what I like to do. Maybe you like doing some kind of like a craft project, maybe you make something. Look at Christmas as your day to get to do that all day with no interruptions.
Karen Covy Host
30:48
Yeah, and especially if you're alone, if your kids aren't there, you can make a big old mess and there's nobody to complain about. There's nobody to mess it up for you. You can put all your stuff in whatever order you want to put it in. To do that Because I like to craft too and I just made the coolest thing, but anyways. So to give yourself permission to do that, but that does. You've either got to be a crafter and you've got like stuff at home all the time, but you got to get out and do something. Right, you can't. It's not going to just happen if you sit and you feel sorry for yourself 100%.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
31:47
You got to do, do, do, but you don't have to go, go, go all day. But you can't just sit home and think about how hard life is because that's not productive for you. You deserve better than that.
Karen Covy Host
32:03
Absolutely, and life will get better. I mean, what I like about so many of the articles that you've written is that you say the hard stuff you've already done the hard stuff. You're putting it behind you. Now everything is going to get better. Look with hope and to the future rather than focusing on what you lost in the past.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
32:26
And maybe you're thinking well, this year's horrible, I'm going through a divorce. But maybe if you look at last year or the year before, you'll be like I was so miserable in my marriage. At least you're on your way to happiness.
Karen Covy Host
32:38
That's true. That's a very good point. Jackie, thank you so much for being here and talking on Christmas Day. I mean, I know we're not really talking on Christmas Day, but it's kind of for the rest of the world. This is coming out on Christmas Day and I hope, I really hope, people listen. And you know this. All the tips that we talked about today aren't just about Christmas. I mean, that's the big holiday, but it's New Year's, it's Valentine's Day, it's any holiday that's important to you. So with that in mind, Jackie, are there any other pearls of wisdom you care to share with the audience?
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
33:10
Just, be healthy, be happy, try to appreciate what you have, hug those kids and know that next year the picture is going to look a lot different.
Karen Covy Host
33:24
Yes, and I can't think of a better way to end than on that note. So, Jackie, thank you so much. I really appreciate your being here.
Jackie Pilossoph Guest
It is absolutely my pleasure.
Karen Covy Host
Tell our listeners, if they want to learn more about you, where's the best place to find you.
33:41
The best place is divorcedgirlsmiling.com. That will take you to my list of trusted vetted divorce professionals, including Karen and to podcasts articles and you can sign up for my free consult.
Karen Covy Host
34:05
Yeah, you've got anyone who is thinking about a divorce or even going through a divorce, even after a divorce. There's so much on Jackie's website. You have so many resources and it's a great place for anybody who's had anything to do with divorce to check out. So I really encourage anyone who's watching, anyone who's listening, to do that. For those of you who are listening on Christmas, have a very Merry Christmas, a wonderful new year, and I look forward to talking to you all again next time.
