Episode Description
Has your marriage become dull and boring? What if you could rekindle the passion you used to have for your spouse while simultaneously deepening your emotional connection and revving up your sex life?
Sound to good to be true?
According to health and sex researcher Matt Cook, all of that (and more!) is possible.
In this podcast episode Matt shares the groundbreaking concepts he discovered that transformed his own 25-year marriage from boring to booming. He reveals secrets about the "oxytocin track," the “Coolidge effect,” and the often-overlooked orgasm cycle. Matt also shares how simple changes in intimacy habits can reignite passion and strengthen bonds in long-term relationships.
Matt doesn’t shy away from discussing taboo sexual topics in a quest to help couples transform their relationships, rediscover their passion, and build greater intimacy, regardless of their current struggles or physical constraints.
If you’re looking for holistic approaches to sexual health, and solutions to challenges like low libido, erectile dysfunction, and hormone imbalances, this a must-listen-to podcast episode. It just might revolutionize the way you think about love and connection regardless of your age.
Show Notes
About Matt
Matt Cook has coached over 80,000 men and runs the largest on-line university for alternative health and sex for men, GetMemberAccess.com. He helps men have the relationship and healthy life of their dreams using alternative methods and I have no doubt you’ll find this very eye opening and quite opposite of what every other so-called expert is saying.
Connect with Matt
You can learn more about Matt’s work and gain access to his experiments, courses, transformation classes, newsletters and more on his website getmemberaccess.com. And view his YouTube Channel at @RealMattCook.
Free Offer
To get Matt’s latest book, Partners for Life, opt in to receive his newsletter at DailyMedicalDiscoveries.com.
Key Takeaways From This Episode with Matt
- Matt Cook is a health and sex researcher who helps men improve their relationships and sexual health, focusing on what he calls the "oxytocin track" - a way of maintaining intimacy and connection in long-term relationships.
- He discovered a significant issue in his own marriage around the 25-year mark, where he was unhappy and watching porn, which led him to develop his approach to relationship and sexual wellness.
- Matt introduces the concept of the "orgasm cycle," explaining that after orgasm, people (especially men) tend to be less attracted to their partner and more critical, lasting up to a week. He advocates for "ejaculatory discipline" to maintain connection.
- He emphasizes the importance of physical intimacy beyond sex, including cuddling, kissing, eye gazing, and stroking, which help build oxytocin and strengthen relationship bonds.
- For dating, Matt recommends meeting in person quickly, within 2-3 days of initial contact, and suggests physical proximity and connection early in the relationship, contrary to traditional dating advice.
- Matt argues that older men (40+) have an advantage in dating due to being less affected by high-speed internet porn and being more reliable and responsible compared to younger men.
- Matt argues that sexual health and function can be improved at any age through lifestyle changes, specific exercises, and alternative treatments, even helping men with erectile dysfunction or other physical limitations.
- For women experiencing libido issues, he suggests alternative approaches like intravaginal progesterone to balance hormones, rather than traditional estrogen-based hormone replacement therapy.
- Matt advocates for a holistic approach to health, recommending lifestyle modifications, nutritional supplements, and alternative treatments like low-dose naltrexone (LDN) to address various health issues.
- He offers resources through his online university and website (dailymedicaldiscoveries.com), where people can access newsletters, transformational programs, and his book "Healthy to 120" focused on male health and sexual wellness.
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Transcript
The Intimacy Breakthrough: Matt Cook's Secrets to Rekindling Passion
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
intimacy, sexual health, physical connection
SPEAKERS
Karen Covy, Matt Cook
Karen Covy Host
00:10
Hello and welcome to Off the Fence, a podcast where we deconstruct difficult decision-making so we can discover what keeps us stuck and, more importantly, how we can get unstuck and start making even tough decisions with confidence. I'm your host, Karen Covy, a former divorce lawyer, mediator and arbitrator, turned coach, author and entrepreneur. And now, without further ado, let's get on with the show.
With me today is Matt Cook. Matt is a health and sex researcher who helps men have the relationship and healthy life of their dreams. He's coached over 80,000 men and runs the largest online university for alternative health and sex for men, which is GetMemberAccess.com. He's discovered a path for forming long-term, committed relationships that he calls Nirvana Sex. That can be the foundation of long-term happiness and abundance. Matt's current focus is in helping people get together without dating apps, in person and living a healthy, happy and sexy life from now until age 120. Matt, welcome to the show.
Matt Cook Guest
01:23
Oh, thank you so much Glad to be here.
Karen Covy Host
01:26
Wow, Healthy, happy and sexy life till age 120. That is quite an enticing promise and I want to get into all the things that you do and how you do it, if you'll share your secrets. But before we get into that, I'm curious about why you got into this line of work. I mean, this isn't a usual career path, shall we put it that way? So how did you get into this? Start wherever you want to start.
Matt Cook Guest
01:55
Yeah, well, I had probably around the 25-year mark in my relationship. I was thinking that is this all there is. I'm in my middle age. Life is draining away so fast. I love my wife, but I felt that our sex life had declined and I was like basically in my office every night our home office, you know looking at porn when she was asleep and I just felt that, well, I haven't really lived my life enough. You know, I didn't want to leave her, but I also was unhappy. So I guess you could say that this sort of started then.
Karen Covy Host
02:28
And all right. So you're in your basement, you're in your home office or whatever. You're not happy. Things aren't. They're not bad, but they're not great. Your sex life has declined. What did you do?
Matt Cook Guest
02:40
Well, I have been a health and sex researcher for about 25 years, so I finally decided to try to take some of my own medicine. And what I realized? And this is a strange thing, but we all are doing sex wrong. The difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship is sex. So if we're doing it wrong, then we're going to screw up our whole relationship, and that's why the average marriage is like eight years. The average relationship is a few years. It's because the sex is wrong. We're following a program that's almost guaranteed to fail.
03:11
Okay. So I have to ask you how are we doing it wrong?
Matt Cook Guest
03:14
So I'm seeing, you know, and I'm, and the symptoms are, I'm seeing all our flaws, I'm seeing all of the things that I used to find adorable and charming, now bother me. Uh, you know, I don't really enjoy spending as much time. We don't have as much physical contact anymore, not as much sex. And what have you ever heard of the orgasm cycle, Karen?
Karen Covy Host
The orgasm cycle? No, what is that?
Matt Cook Guest
It's a hormonal thing. So immediately after an orgasm, although men and women respond hormonally a bit differently, there is something called the Coolidge effect, which actually was named after President Coolidge when he saw this one cock, you know, with all the hens around, and he says and his wife sees that, and she, she's, you know, she sees all that. And so then he says well, is the cock always with just one hen for life, or with lots of hens? And the answer is well, with lots of hens, mr President, and he goes. Well, tell that to Mrs Coolidge.
04:11
You know, a lot of different women excite us. One woman doesn't. Isn't that kind of the problem. We like tired of each other. So, you know, and the advice is like go on dates, go on vacations yeah, that's all the novelty in the bedroom, all of that stuff, right, and then that's not new anymore. What do you do? What do you do so?
04:28
The orgasm cycle says the Coolidge effect. We are attracted to other people after we've had an orgasm, and it's both men and women. For up to about a week, other people actually look more attractive than our partner, and the other thing that happens yeah, the other thing that happens, of course, is we're all aware of being a bit emotional afterwards, but that period lasts about a week. I kept a journal and I found that every time I had an orgasm or my wife did, I kept a journal there was an emotional disruption for several days, up to about a week. So that's the orgasm cycle. It's about a week long, and so I figured out basically how to work a different program in the brain, a different program. We have like two programs, Karen, two tracks. We could go on. The one track we normally find when we're teenagers and we never know, there's a different track. That track has a lot of sex, with orgasm, looking at other people, being interested in other people, emotional ups and downs and all that.
05:22
The second I call that the dopamine track because it's primarily based on wanting more, wanting a new partner, right, wanting something, Wanting not any satisfaction of having something, but it's wanting something. We don't have dopamine. We need it, but it's a dissatisfaction hormone. Oxytocin is the other track. If we're on the oxytocin track, we are just madly in love with our partner, even more than when we first fell in love with our partner, and that we see all of his or her amazing qualities. We just can't get enough of them. We're just incredibly in love so much and nothing is important. You know, it fixes everything, basically, and you love the person and it goes on and on and that's why I'm going on 40 years now and I'm just couldn't be more in love than and I know my wife feels the same about me, and we're very few couples are like that.
Karen Covy Host
06:11
Okay, so it. If I'm understanding this correctly, the differentiator is that with your program system, whatever you do, you increase the oxytocin in a person's brain and that keeps them in a committed relationship, am I getting it?
Matt Cook Guest
06:27
oxytocin makes you feel so great. So I want to be very practical with your audience today. I don't want to just be general, I want to be practical. So, and if we're talking about a lot of people who might be meeting somebody new and hopefully not repeating the mistakes that might've been made, unconsciously or not knowing, in the past, right, if we can talk about that Right,
Karen Covy Host
06:46
of course. I mean we've got. There are two tracks that I would like to ask questions about of you, and one is the track because I know you work in both areas. One is exactly what you just said. It's like how do we, if we're out in the, if someone is out in the dating pool again?
07:03
how do they attract the right partner? How do they have an amazing sex life and all the things? The second track is what if you're in a marriage and you'd really you kind of want to stay married, but not under the current circumstances, shall we? Say so you'd like to zip up your marriage and if you can make that work, you'd really like to stay in that.
Matt Cook Guest
07:30
So those are similar problems, two different tracks. Let's talk about that I'll cover both. So if you're meeting somebody, the first thing you want to do is you want to close the physical space between you as quickly as you can. You want to get physical with a prospective romantic partner as quickly as you can. In the movies there's a kiss goodnight at the end of the date. It should be a kiss within the first five minutes. You want to get very physical. You want to sit next to and not across from each other.
07:52
If you're having a dinner date which is a bad date anyway and you know they used to sort of have these rules right Don't sleep with someone, like they would tell you. Don't sleep with someone until you've gotten to know each other. You know they would tell women especially. You know, don't offer yourself on the first date or the second date. Well, you know, it turns out grandma, mom, sort of was right in a way. In a way, it's not that you can't have a successful relationship if you have sex on the first date, but you're much less likely to. So you're much better off closing the physical space, cuddling, kissing and all of that for like three dates before you actually have sex. Really way better. That increases the oxytocin and you'll get a much better keel with somebody, and that's why I'm not saying it's bad to hook up if that's what you want to do. That's not what I'm about. So this is about getting someone that you can feel amazing with forever. So that's the first thing. Close that space. Now, if you're with somebody, you might've already lost that physical connection, right, Karen? You know you're not. Maybe you're not even sleeping in the same room.
08:51
I have told people I've seen this again. You know I've had 80,000 students that I've coached over the years 80,000. And we run all these experiments and we have people that we they call themselves maskini pigs to try things out. So I kind of find out what works. I found that if a guy's going to be divorcing, a woman's going to be divorcing, it doesn't matter. If they can get their partner to do cuddling, it doesn't even have to be naked for like an hour a night. For a few weeks they'll get back together.
09:16
Now, maybe it's just because the fact that they were willing to do that for the other partner. There's still something there that can be used to reignite. You know, a little bit of tindering, tinder, but I also feel that that oxytocin starts building and then they go. You know what really problems do we have that we can't figure out, because if you're so in love with somebody, you just can't get enough of them. There's no argument you're going to have. You're going to be happy if they're happy, and even if you don't really want to watch that program on TV, if they do, you'd rather them be happy. That sort of thing.
Karen Covy Host
09:44
Okay, so all right, so you're going to, but what do you do? I guess it goes back to the question of what if the two people like are so distant and angry with each other or frustrated? They've grown apart to the point where the idea of cuddling on the couch for an hour a night they're like yeah, no, I'm not doing that, not interested.
Matt Cook Guest
10:11
Right, yeah, well, it can be what I call stealth cuddling. It could be just watching TV together and then just kind of curling up close to each other or giving the other person a foot rub. I realize that if none of that's going to happen, it's never going to reconcile. But if you can get a little physically back in the relationship, that is enough. You know, the camel's nose in the tent, that's enough to expand. And then the physical stuff and the oxytocin takes over.
10:37
And then you know, what I always mention to people and this is the reality of it for men really is that if a man is going to have a successful sex life and is going to be really in love with his partner, he has to have what I would call ejaculatory discipline. I've looked for a better term, but basically it can't come each time. You know, women can have multiple orgasms, many of them, not all of them, but many women can. Women do have the fallout from an orgasm, the orgasm cycle that I first mentioned. But men really get depleted when they ejaculate too often and they become much more critical of their partner, much more unhappy. And so I suggest that people set a schedule every three days, every four days, though. That means if they have sex, then they have to say I'm not going to come this time, and they have to mean it. And um, I teach men this and they just it can't believe how much better it gets, Karen, it's just, the world is opens up. It's amazing, it's amazing.
Karen Covy Host
11:35
Okay, you're losing me here, um, because that seems so mechanical, so unromantic, so like. That seems like the opposite of what would bring a relationship.
Matt Cook Guest
11:50
It turns out that mother nature has a program for us. Basically, if you're a man, you're sort of designed to want to spread your seed to as many women as possible and that's why men get you know, in a natural state, have quick erections, can they quickly come and ejaculate and, you know, get very interested in novel, young, fertile women. So we're running these programs. So if we're going to be happy, nature doesn't have a program to be happy. Nature has this program to reproduce. If we're going to be happy, there's another program we have to follow and that's just a little bit different than the fertilization dopamine driven program. And unfortunately that's how it is.
12:26
Now People say well, what's the point, matt? I mean, I always, that's the reason I do it. You know I want to have that. But actually, once you start going this path, you'll have 30 minute, 45 minute sex and you can have like a whole body orgasmic feeling the whole time. And we do it twice a day. So it's not, you know, it's pretty nice. Honestly, I'd rather have sex an hour a day with an almost full body orgasmic feeling, with incredible connection with my partner. That's just too tempting. I wouldn't want to go back to the old way. Who would?
Karen Covy Host
12:53
Okay, so you mentioned that when you started this journey. I think you mentioned that you were watching porn.
Matt Cook Guest
12:59
Yes.
Karen Covy Host
13:00
What has you know? And your relationship has improved, and it's you're now 40 years with your wife Night and day. Night and day. Yes, what happened to the porn?
Matt Cook Guest
13:10
Oh, I just had no interest in it. After that I had no interest in it. It was too exciting what was going on in the bedroom. I had no problem dropping it whatsoever.
13:27
A few techniques to avoid fantasy, because the brain tends to kind of stay in a sort of a porn kind of state where something like a trigger from an ad or from a program or movie can get us fantasizing our favorite porn fantasy, which can kind of be a negative for our libido. But that goes away quickly. So I was able to drop it immediately. I was amazed that I dropped this habit that was taking me decades. I had and it was so easy to quit and it was a lot better quitting it too. I don't say that everybody has to quit porn, but you have to quit ejaculating to porn most of the time, and some men are okay with porn. I find porn damages a lot of men and women. I think it's very damaging, but some men and women seem to be okay. I'm not saying that everybody can't use porn, but in general I think it's a it's harmful and it was very easy to stop once we started this oxytocin track.
Karen Covy Host
14:12
Okay, so the oxytocin track, as you put it, is basically cuddling with your partner, and that's it.
Matt Cook Guest
14:20
Kissing, a full kissing on the lips. You know, after a while, when you're together with somebody you stop kissing as much. So when you first are excited about each other, you kiss on the lips and you make out, as they used to call it. That's very, very strong for oxytocin. Eye gazing, looking into each other's eyes is very, very builds oxytocin connection. It's very hard to do. Try to look into your partner's eyes for 30 or 45 seconds. It's very hard to do. But the longer you do it and you know when you're in bed you're cuddling. It's not like you do it all the time, but it's a very, very intense, wonderful way of connecting, of stroking.
14:55
There's certain ways of stroking each other. What these all do is, if you were to put the, you went into a functional MRI, your brain would light up with these things and that's going to be producing oxytocin and making you feel really good. So stroking, kissing, cuddling, flirting, teasing never stops all the time. You know that's the key to the thing and if you think back on it, that's where you might've been the first year when you were together. But you know you're talking about spontaneous. I totally get it. No-transcript.
Karen Covy Host
15:31
OK. So speaking of natural things and decline, I know you work with a lot of older men. I mean 60s, 70s, 80s. By that time, popular wisdom or culture says it's over, don't even bother. What do you say about that?
Matt Cook Guest
15:51
Yeah, well, my grandfather told my dad that. He said you know he loved women and he had girlfriends his whole life. He died at 92. He said to my dad when he was in his late 80s. He says I like having sex, it's just that I can never come. He says I just grind away and I can't come, which is a common thing for older people, but for men not necessarily for women, but for men. If they're healthy, they have a very strong sex drive for their entire life. It doesn't stop. So I do work with men, even in their 90s, and they all want to have good sex, they want to have a lot of sex. It doesn't change, it doesn't go away.
16:26
There's even a theory that everyone thinks that your testosterone levels fall and they have different words for this, corresponding to menopause for women, andropause for men. It isn't true. What's true is that if you are on blood pressure medications, statins and other things and I'm not saying not to take them, but if you're on those medications, your T levels are going to fall. You're going to have a lot of other issues, maybe because of the medications or maybe because of the problems, the health issues that require the medications, but that's the problem. But if you take healthy guys who are 80 or 90, their testosterone levels are the same as young men, in fact higher.
17:03
Because I don't know if you saw the few years ago they tested these young men, these Buzzfeed reporters, their testosterone levels. The editors of Buzzfeed Did you ever see that? And there were just typical guys. You know in their twenties their testosterone levels should be high, but they're like 250 or 300, which is like an average. You know should be in that age, seven or 800, but it's very low today because you know everybody's young people and old people are losing the thread here, losing interest in sex, losing libido, and a lot of it is because the physical cuddling, eye, gazing, kissing, stroking that is what we require as human beings and if we have social media and porn, it sort of takes the place of that, but not really. So we're not really happy, we're lonely and we don't feel good and it's very hard to sustain a relationship.
Karen Covy Host
17:53
Well, what would you say, if like? Because I know there's a lot of discussion these days about the young generation not having as much sex as they used to, not being in committed relationships at the same level that they used to be. So if you're some young person, what do you say to that young? Because everybody dates these days? It's and I don't know I you have to forgive me I've been married for a while now, swiping right or left or whichever way you're swiping and that's the way you know. People meet on dating apps and I know part of your mission is to have people meeting more in real life. So how do the dating apps do you feel? How does that affect relationships and sex drive?
Matt Cook Guest
18:41
Yeah, if you're older dating apps and you're male dating apps don't serve you. They have had people that create accounts fake accounts, and they do videos showing what results are. Women will get 100 messages a day. Men get zero, like the whole week, crickets, zero, nothing.
18:57
So that the dating apps are aware of this, they kind of need to have both men and women sort of happy. Their stocks have plummeted, in some cases 90%, because the dating apps are broken for men. They just don't work for men, except for young men, like men in their twenties are still okay with dating apps, but anybody else and have a really tough time. The key with a dating app is very simple, Karen you need to have a good profile and you need to get to a physical meet quickly. It should be two or three days to a physical meet, but what people do is they go back and forth and they give enough back and forth where the woman ghosts the guy because you know, several days go by, the deal isn't closed, there's no physical meeting and men kind of like this. So, in other words, they stay online too long before they bring the relationship to a physical meet. That's the mistake that they make.
Karen Covy Host
19:44
Okay. So if somebody let's say someone is they're newly divorced, they're just entering the dating pool and they're in that middle-aged and up group, right, so they've been married, long-term marriage they start dating you said you mentioned the importance of the profile and to physically meet, you know, as soon as possible. What else can they do? How do they make a good profile? I mean, these are people who've been out of the dating pool for a while and you know, so they probably don't know how to make a profile. What should they do?
Matt Cook Guest
20:19
Yeah, so women look for a man that is reliable, more, tend to be someone who's dominant in their life and so economically OK, and women cannot. You know, the list that women have has to be a little bit relaxed. And if you're a man or a woman, if you're a guy and you're paying your bills and you're living by yourself or you know you have, you're on the top tier these days. You have to realize your value. You're way more valuable than you think. So if a woman isn't really willing to meet with you right away and have a nice date it could be a coffee date or drink date then it's not a good idea. The profile should just be enough to get that first meeting. That's the whole point. It should be intriguing. I've always suggested that people hire a photographer or use really, really good pictures photos it's critical, for men as well as women Critical and there are some really good local people that do specialize in taking photos of people for dating apps. They get way better results with good photos.
Karen Covy Host
21:19
Interesting, so okay, so they've got. You know they've got the photos they meet. And then so your advice is to meet for what? A coffee or a drink as soon as possible.
Matt Cook Guest
21:31
Yeah, I like to, exactly two or three days the following weekend. You don't want to go back and forth. You just might have to say I'm really tied up, but I'll see you on Saturday. You have to, and then you have to continue. If it's, let's say, the guy's trying to get to date with a girl, to it, but that's it. It's not a back and forth asking about your favorite this or that and all that. That's exactly the mistake men make, and a lot of men are making this mistake to avoid rejection, because if they continue this sort of romance back and forth with text, right, then they don't have to get turned down, but of course they get, they get ghosted anyway. It's a terrible idea.
Karen Covy Host
22:16
Okay, so I am now going to show my age. What about just getting on the phone and talking, having a conversation?
Matt Cook Guest
22:27
Yeah, it's the same thing actually. I agree with you it's a good thing to talk, but not a long time, because you're losing the energy, the sexual energy of not knowing what someone's like. The high cortisol, the stress, is actually a positive, so I wouldn't if I was going to be on the phone, it would just be for, and that's why I like text, sort of transactional. You start talking to somebody. An hour later all the people start doing is either they're going to go, continue with that and then ghost each other, find a reason they don't like you, or that they. I don't think it's a good idea. I think that you want to leave the uh, the date, uh, physical date, so that everyone's really wondering what, what that person's going to be like, and all of that.
Karen Covy Host
23:07
Okay, but if someone took your advice, I just got to tell you from a woman's perspective. Let's say that I was back in the dating pool and I meet some guy like I go on a dating app. I you know, find a guy that I'm like yeah, we seem like we're compatible. We're going to meet for coffee If he tries to kiss me in the first five minutes like I'm gone.
Matt Cook Guest
23:31
Yeah, well, there's some. There's certainly some context to it, but the point is not really. I mean, you'd be surprised. This is the area where a lot of times people, especially women, will think one thing but they'll act a different way. That's all I can say. I mean, it just depends. Really it's not at all impossible. And see, if you have the kind of a very date where you're sitting across from each other, it's not going to happen. So you have to get physical and maybe it's not five minutes, maybe it's 20 minutes or 30 minutes, but it's always on the first date and as soon as possible, very, very important.
24:03
Um, and I, I talked to men and they'll go, cause I've coached so many men and we've had all sorts of coaching that we've done for men and a lot of times they'll go two or three days before they're trying to kiss a woman. You know women generally have several guys on the stove. You know the guy has the one pot on the burner, she's got several. You know men are always pursuing women. So you know they're like kind of looking for a reason to drop a guy or losing interest in the guy unless he escalates physically quickly.
Karen Covy Host
24:28
Okay, I just got to tell. I mean I have obviously as a woman, I have a lot of female friends, I have clients. How do you suggest that men actually go up and approach women in person.
Matt Cook Guest
24:54
If it's at the gym, you know you want to have a conversation with a woman first before you just ask her out. You know, because you're going to be seeing each other, you don't want it to be uncomfortable. But I think men really are better off forgetting the apps and going out where there's women around and actually talking to women, even though they don't know what to say, even though they're all scared. Once they're in front of a woman and it's talking, they get better at it. And women are really a lot of women trying to be approached and men aren't approaching them. Don't you agree with that? Or do you disagree with that?
Karen Covy Host
25:21
First of all, I don't know from experience anymore, um, because I've been out of the dating pool for a very long time, um, but I'm just, I'm curious. It's like in today's world men are really afraid to approach a woman because, like, if they hold the door open, she might bite their head off. You know, and you never know what like. So how do you bridge that gap? That's what everyone says.
Matt Cook Guest
25:51
It's true that we don't know the rules anymore. However, the biggest part of it is we're out of practice Even before COVID, but COVID made it worse. We've gotten really good at being by ourself and really bad at being with other people. So, yeah, you know, it's true, they use this excuse Men don't know the rules. Well, you know what? If men are maintaining an ejaculation schedule that makes them much more assertive with women, much more attractive to women, women sense when a man has higher testosterone especially have a lot of advantages in person because there's so few good men around and women are really wanting to be approached and talked to, no matter how incompetent at it a man really is.
Karen Covy Host
26:42
Okay, so why would you say that an older man has an advantage under those circumstances?
Matt Cook Guest
26:47
Yeah, because the pool of young men is so poor right now. There's so many young men. See, if you're a man, mostly a man, but women to some degree but if you're a man over about 40, you grew up without before the era of high speed video porn, so you were with your dad's magazines that you found, or pictures or something like that, which is a lot less harmful. The younger men got wired, their brains got wired to porn and all of the images and all of the idealistic, the idealist. They're not that's idealistic, but the ideal body images and acts that people do in porn that they don't necessarily do in real life. So they're so into that that they don't have the skills at all and they're not competition.
27:23
So older men you know younger women really are going out with older men almost exclusively. It's much, much harder for young men unless they're in their 20s looking for a family and have everything going for them. Once they're in their 30s it's very hard for them to find. The women want an older man who pays his bills and is responsible. So older men actually have an advantage in dating.
Karen Covy Host
27:41
Interesting. So what about the men that you mentioned, the ones who are on blood pressure medication? Or statins, or they're older and they're diabetic and they now have functional problems right. Is it just toast for their relationship?
Matt Cook Guest
27:58
No, no, In fact you know, this is the hardest thing to sell, Karen, that I ever have to sell, because I regard it as a sale and that is that a man can have very good sex with a woman without having a really strong erection or even the ability to have an erection. We call it intercourse anytime, and women can have orgasms, and I really don't want to get into the exact detail, but what I'm going to do at the end. I'll send my book, which has a diagram and tells a man how to do it, to anybody who wants to. The point is that we teach men that they can be having sex all the time, even if they have a physical limitation, even if the nerve is cut, even if they have paralysis, you know, even, let alone, things like type two diabetes that could be potentially reversed. But I do also feel that, in the more holistic scheme of things, we can't just accept what the doctors are telling us anymore without looking at alternatives, because in the old day my dad is a doctor.
28:52
You know, in the old days medicine was more of a science, but today it's more about selling drugs and procedures. The doctors are like pawns in the game, so they don't even know the best treatments for a lot of things like prostate cancer, for example, or prostate inflammation or, you know, bph, high blood pressure you mentioned. They don't know, so they're going to just do whatever they're told, what they've been taught in medical school. A lot of times it's the worst thing. So I always like I think men should be investigating options and for some reason women have been better at this than men. Women have been more open to alternative health stuff. But everybody has to be. You can't just do what your doctor says anymore without really questioning it and doing your research, because it's not what it was and a lot of times the treatments will make your life worse.
Karen Covy Host
29:38
So is it possible? For I suppose it depends on the condition that's preventing a man from having an erection. Is it possible to reverse the condition?
Matt Cook Guest
29:47
Oh yeah, that's what I. We do that so often One of the biggest finds of ours and I do lots of experiments with myself and with our we call Matt's guinea pigs which are guys out there that do follow my work with a private podcast I do each week and then they do the experiments and I'll do them and we'll exchange notes made by a professor at University of North Carolina who has patents. He got on this device working for NASA and this device a man can put it on his penis, wear it during the day it's under his clothes and after a few weeks to maybe a month, even decades of ED can be reversed. And this device also works if you move the. There's little plastic coils over the perineum, where the prostate is closest to the, and actually can help fight prostate inflammation, restore prostate health. I have a tooth problem which I rarely ever have. I'm using it on my teeth at night.
30:42
It's like an amazing thing, but we've been having men who are fixing ED If they can get a weak erection. We then have these simple exercises they can do which actually increase the blood vessel beds of blood vessels in the penis and increase the diameter of the blood vessels. And what people don't realize is that in the penis, as in all of our organs, around those arteries there's muscle, and that muscle can be worked out, just like working out a skeletal muscle by, let's say, your biceps, lifting weights or whatever. So we give exercises that work out those smooth muscles through a phenomenon called mechanotransduction, and just simple exercises can then increase the quality of the erections, how hard a man gets, how long it lasts up to 45 minutes or an hour and sensitivity he feels more and more and more, because it helps reconnect the nerve cells with the brain, the pleasure circuits in the brain called vascular maximizer. So we have these things that we've developed for men.
Karen Covy Host
31:39
So let's say a man wants to work with you. How does that work? I mean, does he have to come to an office? Go to where you are? How do you work with people? How do you work with men?
Matt Cook Guest
31:53
Yeah, so I'm not a doctor. I'm not anyone's doctor, I don't give anyone medical advice. So we have an online university and what we do is we give people a very simple we call transformations, where they watch a video and then they will complete some kind of assessment and they move along and continue to improve their health and their sex life and their erections and whatever the issue is whether it's type 2 diabetes, having a big pot belly, not being able to build muscle even if you work out, being tired all the time, type 2 diabetes, prostate cancer, prostate inflammation I get up five times a night to pee all these things they're all things that through lifestyle, some simple things a lot of times, occasionally some medications that doctors don't really know about. They can be slowly reversed and fixed, and sometimes quickly reversed and fixed.
Karen Covy Host
32:43
So is this? Are you talking lifestyle changes like diet and exercise?
Matt Cook Guest
32:48
Yeah, but you know what people a lot times either people are too sedentary, they sit around or they do too much exercise beyond their current fitness level, which is very interesting how that works today. But yeah, diet, exercise, nutritional supplements. There's also a few medicines that work a little differently than Dr Sink. For example, I don't know if you've heard of LDN. Have you heard of low-dose naltrexone? Yeah, it's really amazing if you look it up A huge body of work in high doses that's used for alcoholics and drug addicts because it has something that binds with these receptors in our bodies, the opioid receptors.
33:31
As we get older, most of us, small amounts of this, it turns out, can fix a whole variety of health issues, such as leaky gut. As we get older, most of us, our gut slows down, it gets leaky and we get a lot of bacterial byproducts called endotoxins in our bodies that are really harming our health and causing prostate inflammation, causing women to lose their libido, causing all sorts of chronic conditions. And so LDN, low-dose naltrosone, is something we've been working and talking to people about for several years. You may need a prescription from a doctor, but your doctor won't know about it. We tell you the studies and everything. You can then get that and it's very inexpensive and it's absolutely incredible results over a few months for so many different conditions. That's an example of some of the things that are in our transformations, and if you, if somebody wants to, they can go to dailymedicaldiscoveries.com and we'll send them our newsletter with all the studies every day.
34:18
And also I'll send you a copy of my book Healthy to 120, which is a $30 on Amazon and it's a all-time bestseller on male health. It's in a third edition and you know cause this is all that I do really and it's it's for men. It's focused around sex initially, cause, you know, men love sex. Women is a little different. Women love sex too, but men are simpler that way, right, so it's easier. The man has good, strong erections and libido. He's probably healthy. But women can be healthy even though they don't necessarily have a high libido, especially after they've had children, and I've worked with lots of women and helped women increase their appreciation for sex and their orgasmic potential and all of that. But sometimes women do lose their libido through hormonal things that they have no control over. They can still have a wonderful sexual relationship, but they're not going to look forward to it the way a man does , frankly.
Karen Covy Host
35:12
so what is the answer for the woman then? Hormone replacement therapy.
Matt Cook Guest
35:18
Usually hormone replacement therapy is done with estrogen, which really can be harmful in many ways. I have found that for women a small amount of intravaginal progesterone. There's a product I like called Progesti, and I don't sell any of these, but I don't make a dime on anything I'm talking about. It's strictly because I think that affects my credibility, but Progesti was made by a late PhD, Ray Peet, who really has an amazing formulation, and a little bit of that can oppose excess estrogen. A lot of women actually have higher estrogen as they've lost their libido, their sex drive. This is also a reason why breast cancer tends to increase as women get older, because a lot of breast cancer is estrogen positive. It is actually a result of chronically elevated estrogen, and progesterone is a natural hormone which opposes estrogen.
Karen Covy Host
36:07
Interesting. This is fascinating and I really appreciate the conversation. I think a lot of people who are listening right For whatever reason somebody's having an affair or looking outside the marriage or whatever it is, the marriage has lost its vigor. Let's put it that way. What piece of advice would you give them?
Matt Cook Guest
36:42
Well, I am 100% convinced I'm seeing this literally hundreds of times, if not thousands, with the people that I coach that if you can get as romantic you know former sexual partners. If you can get together on a couch watching TV, arm around each other, 15, 20 minutes a night for like two weeks, your relationship is going to be reignited and you'll be fine. I've seen it every time. It has never failed.
37:08
What does fail is when partner says I'm not going to do that, but if they're willing to do that, you can save your relationship. So you could always say do it for me, for our past, for the kids. You know, whatever it is that's appealing God and country. And if it doesn't matter, hook or crook, trick or not, once you're together for a couple weeks, for that you're watching TV, what I call stealth cuddling. It reignites things, the oxytocins are spilling and it just changes everything and then you're on a path where you can have a better relationship than you ever had before.
Karen Covy Host
37:35
Wow, Wow. And who wouldn't want that right?
Matt Cook Guest
37:44
The last thing I want to mention is a story I had a couple that never had consummated their marriage. They both had severe diabetes and obesity and they had never actually had intercourse. So once they started to work with me, within a few days they were having amazing intercourse and they thanked me and they were just so thrilled it just changed their whole life together. You know that's a sort of extreme example, but that's the kind of thing that is possible for people.
Karen Covy Host
38:04
How long had they been married?
Matt Cook Guest
38:06
Oh, it was like a year, but they both were diabetics and obese and had health issues, you know, and so they were happy to find each other and they were both in the same boat.
Karen Covy Host
38:15
Interesting, fascinating. Well, if somebody wants to change the boat that they are in, where can they find you?
Matt Cook Guest
38:22
So yeah, dailymedicaldiscoveries.com, I'll send you my daily newsletter and also a copy of my book Healthy to 120, which is very specific, nothing held back all these sex and health protocols like intercourse anytime, all of that with diagrams and everything, all for free, just at dailymedicaldiscoveries.com. It'll ask for your email address and then I'll send it to you.
Karen Covy Host
38:44
That's awesome. Thank you so much for coming here and sharing all of your research and your knowledge and your wisdom. I can see how it would help a lot of people.
Matt Cook Guest
38:56
Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it. I really enjoyed it.
Karen Covy Host
38:59
You're welcome and, for those of you who are listening or who are watching, if you enjoyed today's conversation, if you'd like to hear more conversations just like this, do me a big favor, like subscribe. Subscribe wherever you're listening to the podcast or watching the YouTube videos. I look forward to seeing you again next time.
