August 14

Funny Divorce Quotes: 23 Divorce Memes That (Might) Make You Laugh!

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dealing with divorce, divorce blog, divorce humor, divorce lawyer, divorce tips


There is nothing funny about divorce – at least not while you’re going through it! Yet, because divorce is so serious, finding a way to laugh a little can help relieve the tension. These funny divorce quotes are designed to distract and (possibly) delight you during one of life’s toughest times.

While some of these funny divorce memes admittedly fall under the category of “dark humor,” they will hopefully at least make you smile.

(Just so you know, according to the Mayo Clinic, laughter improves your immune system, relieves pain, soothes tension and stimulates your organs!)

So, in the spirit of lightening your mood and improving your health, here are 23 funny divorce memes to help you find the humor in what is usually an all-too-serious situation.

Funny Divorce Quotes

Close up of sloth with Funny divorce quote: "It's better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho all your life."

It is better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho all your life.

Divorce humor - woman in wedding shoes wearing ruby slippers with saying, "For Sale! Wedding dress. Worm once by mistake."

For sale! One wedding dress … worn once by mistake.

Baby looking over horn-rimmed glasses with quote, "Ah yes, divorce ... from teh Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.

Smiling woman with thumbs up and saying, "Whoever said money can't buy happiness never paid for a divorce."

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness never paid for a divorce.

Brick background with Louis C.K. divorce meme on it.

Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. That would be sad. If two people were married and they just had a great thing and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. But that has happened zero times.

Picture of heart over money with saying, "Love is grand; Divorce is a hundred grand."

Love is grand … Divorce is a hundred grand.

Picture of surgeon in surgery with divorce meme, "Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass."

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.

Man and woman holding hands on red satin blanket with quote, "The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers."

The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.

Funny divorce meme about why Catholics stay married.

I can’t get divorced because I’m a Catholic. Catholics don’t get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended.

Funny divorce meme about men ending up divorced after telling their wives they gained weight after marriage.

A new study found that women gain more weight after marriage, but men gain more weight after a divorce. Yeah, the divorce usually takes place after men point out that women gained more weight after marriage.

Beautiful house with divorce quote: "Instead of getting married again, I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house."

Instead of getting married again, I’m just going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Close up of judge's gavel with quote: "You should be prepared for anything in divorce proceedings - even the truth."

You should be prepared for anything in divorce proceedings … even the truth.

Man holding cash behind his back and Johnny Carson quote about the difference between legal separation and divorce.

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.

Platinum blonde woman wearing sunglasses with dollar signs and divorce quote, "My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money."

My mother always said don’t marry for money, divorce for money.

Smiling woman with quote, "Whenever your ex screams: 'You'll never find another one like me!' the appropriate resonse is, 'I certainly hope not!'"

Whenever your ex screams, “You’ll never find another one like me!” the appropriate response is, “… I certainly hope not!”

Funny Divorce Quotes About Divorce Lawyers

Black cat with red eyes in the background with divorce lawyer joke: "What happened? Satan was busy?"

“What happened? Satan was busy?” – Sam Kinison on finding out his wife had hired lawyer Marvin Mitchelson to represent her in her divorce case against him.

Picture of a lawyer with boxing gloves and quote: A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce ...

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and have the patient sit up on the table.

Picture of a pig with saying "Arguing with a lawyer is like wrestling with a pig in mud. ... sooner or later you realize that they like it.

Arguing with a lawyer is like wrestling with a pig in mud. … sooner or later you realize that they like it.

Funny Memes About Marriage and Divorce

Surprised woman with quote, "Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!"

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener!

Quote about a bad divorce on top of picture of frozen winter scene

“Bad divorce?” Hardy asked, his gaze falling to my hands. I realized I was clutching my purse in a death grip. “No, the divorce was great,” I said. “It was the marriage that sucked.”

Picture of monk at sunrise with funny meme comparing being married to being a monk.

When you’re a monk, you’re not allowed to have sex with anyone. When you’re married, it’s one person. That’s one more than a monk. It’s not that different.

Green leafy background with quote about marriage and divorce.

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you’d have a hell of a lot of overlapping.

Playing cards with saying, "Marriage is like a deck of cards ... etc."

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. In the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

Want to see even more divorce quotes? Check out The Definitive List of Inspiring and Motivational Divorce Quotes.

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While funny divorce memes may make you smile, you need something more practical to really get you through your divorce.

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