If you are like a lot of people, talking to your ex after you are divorced is the last thing you really want to do. But, if you have kids, you are going to have to talk to your ex whether you like it or not. As long as your kids are young, you are going to have to co-ordinate schedules, talk about parenting issues, and deal with the day-to-day issues that come up for every parent. Finding a way to communicate effectively and minimize conflict is key.
In this Two Minute Divorce Tip, I give you a few ideas about how you can communicate with your ex without causing World War III. Besides limiting your conversations to only those that are absolutely necessary, and only those that are about the kids, there are tools that you can use that will help make your communication easier if you and your ex just can’t seem to have a conversation without ending up in a fight.
One of my favorite tools — and one which judges in my jurisdiction all know and accept — is called Our Family Wizard. You can find out more information about it at www.ourfamilywizard.com. Not only can you use this to talk to your ex, but you can also set up third party accounts that let others (like grandparents, therapists etc.) see a certain amount of information about your family too.
The most important thing about Our Family Wizard is that it ends the “he said, she said” craziness that often happens when parents end up fighting in court. (Not that I recommend fighting in court, but, it happens.)
The bottom line is this: if you are a parent, you are going to have to talk to your ex at least until your kids are 18. It is in your best interest (not to mention that it is best for your kids) if you can find a way to do that which minimizes conflict and promotes the most effective communication possible.