Alex Pauls – Deciding to Go Into Business With Your Wife (and Making it Work!)

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Episode Description

Twenty-three years ago, Alex Pauls married his childhood sweetheart, Kati, the founder of KP Design. Three years ago he joined her in the business. Alex talks about what brought him to decide to go into business with his wife and how the two of them make their business and their marriage work. 

Show Notes

Alex Pauls is one half of KP Design, a Branding, Website and SEO company. KP Design is an intuitive digital design agency that offers entrepreneurs & businesses a full range of custom solutions to elevate their brand so they can make more money - from branding to websites to print materials.

Alex and Kati met when they were 15 years old and have been together ever since. This year marks their 23rd wedding anniversary, the 20th Anniversary of KP Design, and their third year in business together. They have 2 daughters (13 & 10), a Mini Husky, and a Hamster named “Turbo”.

Where to Connect with Alex
You can connect with Alex on LinkedIn as Alex Pauls. You can also find him and his wife Kati on their website at

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Deciding to Go Into Business With Your Wife (and Making it Work!)

Karen Covy (00:03):

Hello, and welcome to Off The Fence, where we deconstruct difficult decisions so that we can discover what keeps us stuck, and more importantly, how do we get unstuck. I'm your host, Karen Covy, and today I am here with my guest Alex Pauls. And Alex Pauls is one half of KP Design. Alex and his wife Kati are branding website and SEO creative experts. KP Design is an intuitive digital agency that offers entrepreneurs and businesses a full range of custom solutions to elevate their brands so they can make more money from branding to websites to print materials. Alex and Kati were married when they, or they met when they were 15 years old. I hope you weren't married at 15 <laugh>. They met when they were 15 years old, and they have now been married for 23 years. They have been operating KP Design for 20 years, and they have been in business together for three, and they are still married. So that's an amazing, an amazing feat. They have two daughter daughters, a mini husky, and a hamster named Turbo, which I gotta tell you, I love that <laugh>. So, Alex, welcome to the show.

Alex Pauls (01:11):

Hi, Karen. Thanks for having me on.

Karen Covy (01:14):

Well, I'd like to dive right in and ask the, the big question, the one that I've been dying to ask, which is that one of the things that makes you so unique is that you're in business, business with your wife. How did you decide to do that, and how's it going?

Alex Pauls (01:31):

Well, it, it's funny because if, if I do connect the dots going back I, I think even when we first started you know, our, our road together after being married my wife has always been an entrepreneur. She was a music teacher and then became a graphic designer, and she was kind of one of those first work from home people back in like 2001, 2002, because I was doing a lot of traveling and she could not set up a music studio for only six months. So she had to keep shutting down and, and moving. So it was really neat to see the freedom that she had being an entrepreneur. And we had talked about this early on in our marriage, that it would be really cool, you know, to set that goal that one day we worked together. It wasn't necessarily KP design, but it was, you know, for us actually be in business together, like a mom and pop shop or, or something, you know, just so that we could, you know, spend more time together. We, we like being together. That's kind of the secret <laugh>.

Karen Covy (02:35):

Yeah, I, I would think that being, liking being together would be important when you're in business with your spouse. For sure. How do you manage that? How do you like divide responsibilities? How do you figure out who does what so that you're, so that it makes getting along easier?

Alex Pauls (02:54):

I think one of the, our big secrets is, is the fact that we are opposites, like opposite. They always say opposites attract, right? She is very creative, very artistic, and she likes a lot of alone time. And I am very out outgoing. I love to talk to people. I love to do podcasts, especially with Karen, and thanks for having me on the show. And I think that I fill in the gaps that she doesn't like to do. I like to do the, you know, the invoicing, the, the, the nerdy stuff, the seo, the math, the analytics. Like these are all things that she doesn't enjoy doing and I do. So it's kind of that perfect, you know, that perfect fit. And when I decided to join KP Design, I, you know, strategically looked at, you know, what could I, you know, what could I do to make the business better by, by joining it? And that's, that's exactly how it went. So the fact that we were opposites actually really helped us, you know, get the business to that next level.

Karen Covy (03:59):

How did you make the decision? That's, that's what always fascinates me is how people analyze an issue and come up with a solution. Well, how, what led you to becoming her partner to, to going into business together? I, I heard that it was always something in out there, but how did you finally say, okay, now's the time, let's do this.

Alex Pauls (04:23):

Yeah, so it's funny, like the universe sometimes, you know, if you don't take action, it'll make you take action. So one of my mentors it's a, yeah, that's an interesting story. I, I had left my corporate job and we had traveled and we had come back to Calgary after, you know, about six months. And then I had entered in a role for a sales job where I was, you know, going to be in a smaller company, which is what I wanted, and my mentor was helping me come up, and then he would eventually retire and I would take over that small business. So this was my original plan. Well, he died suddenly with in less than a year, and I was forced to quickly change, and I took another sales role, and it ended up n really not being what I wanted. And I was basically, you know, amicably, you know, I was let go.

Alex Pauls (05:25):

I wanted to go, and I walked away from that job and, and then I just, you know, was sit sitting there one day, I am like, this is it, this is the sign that, you know, those things didn't work for a reason. And this, and this thing. It's always been in the back of my mind since we were 21 years old, so like 20 years that this has been in the back of my mind that, okay, it's time to go all in on us. And like I said, it, it wasn't ideal, but looking back now, it was the greatest gift, you know, to have those two setbacks, which I thought were setbacks, but they just opened this incredible door that, and I, I'm so grateful for it.

Karen Covy (06:08):

That is so interesting how the things that we think in the moment are terrible. They're, they're, you know, failures or disasters or things we don't want to have happen, and they end up being exactly what we needed to have happen.

Alex Pauls (06:23):

Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>.

Karen Covy (06:24):

So, okay.

Alex Pauls (06:25):

So it really is what you make of it, right?

Karen Covy (06:27):

That absolutely, a hundred percent. Yeah. So, okay, so there you are, you know, the doors have closed. You said, okay, Kati, we're gonna do this thing. How did it go? Were there any, like, growing pains or bumps in the road, or was it all perfect from the start?

Alex Pauls (06:43):

It's so funny because the first thing I remember is us having this like, super serious sit down, and this is like behind the scenes of KP design. So this is like a sneak peek for your audience. So we get this, I, I get this sit down and you know, she's like standing there, she's like, listen, I've been doing this for a long time. This is, this is like, I've worked really hard to build up this business. You're gonna have to take it really seriously. I don't want you to screw around <laugh>. You know, like the, I was like, wow, this is happening. Like, the boss is really telling me like how it's gonna go down <laugh> and th this is the culture, this is, this is what you need to bring to the table. And, and I was like, wow, okay. This, this is interesting. This is a side of our relationship I've never seen, because we've never been in that, in that boat.

Alex Pauls (07:36):

And it's like, I'm not, I'm not the c e o, she is the C E o, I am the, you know, the C F O or the C M O or whatever, or the c o o, whatever it is. But I'm not, I realize that I'm not the top of the pyramid. So <laugh>, and that's, and that's okay. Like you, it's really good to have a strong leader, you know, to really see the vision mm-hmm. <Affirmative>, and that's what she is. She, she does that and she does it very well because it is her, her business and I help, you know, get the ship going in that direction of the vision.

Karen Covy (08:09):

So it's, you know, she's the visionary. You are the executor, you're the operator, you're the one that makes it all, or, or at least makes a big piece of it happen, it sounds like.

Alex Pauls (08:18):

Sure. Yeah.

Karen Covy (08:19):

And how has that, once you got in there, it sounded like, it sounded like right from the start you had to take the business very seriously, like, you know, yeah, this is a business and then here's our relationship. But how has one affected the other over time?

Alex Pauls (08:38):

Yeah, I mean, it's been interesting. I mean honestly, we, okay, we are masters of conflict. I think that this is our, one of our biggest gifts and biggest, you know, secret recipes of our, our marriage working. It's when we, when we butt heads, when we don't agree on something, it's never destructive. It's a very constructive type of conflict when we, when we do it, you know, like, I have ideas, I have visions too, right? And when those things don't come about, yeah, sometimes I go in the garage and I, you know, work, work with tools, and I get it out that, you know, like, like anybody, like any normal person, it's like, oh, man, I really thought that idea was great, and the boss didn't like it. And now I'm just like, I'm just gonna work it out. And I cool down and then I, I, I take a step back and I disassociate myself from the emotion and just look at the overall, you know, what, what is best for the business, right? And it's really inter it's really interesting to humble yourself, especially when you're with your, when you're with your partner, and you have to get outside the relationship and actually look at what's best for the business. So I, Alex,

Karen Covy (09:56):

This is so key because this so many couples, I mean, you know, I am a divorce and decision coach by trade and a recovering lawyer. And this is such an important piece of information for so many people out there, because this is what brings down so many relationships that they can't deal with conflict. So I'm really interested if you could just explain a little bit about how you do that. How do you disassociate from the emotion as you put it?

Alex Pauls (10:27):

Well, I, I think the biggest you know, the, the best way I do it is I, I take a step back and I go into my, like I said, I, I go into my garage, I go into nature, I go for a hike, and I have to be, I have to be with it. I have to work, work through it so that I can get the ego out so that I can clear my vision and see like, is this the best? Because so many times our, our ego gets in the way, and especially with your spouse, you know, like, and, and especially being a man too, like, I think that my ideas are great and I'm awesome. And it's very humbling, you know, when, okay, my wife is equally as smart and amazing at what she does, and she's been doing it for a long time. And I have to keep, keep that in mind that, you know, I have a lot to learn from her too. And, you know, she has a lot to learn from me in, in other ways. So, like I said, that opposites thing we're, we really respect the fact that we're very different and that we're always learning, you know, that other side, there's that always that other side, right? Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>, but mm-hmm. <Affirmative>. But it, it's interesting, there's so many people want to impose their will, right? And force and force things

Karen Covy (11:44):

A hundred percent. But when you, all right, so you, let's say you take that step back and you analyze a problem, you're like, okay, I really believe my idea is best for the business, right? And she says, no, I really believe my idea is best for the business. Does she always, like, does, does her say always win? Does she always trump you or do you have a process that by which you like, talk things through or make a decision? How do you handle that?

Alex Pauls (12:14):

Yes. That's a great question. The answer to that would be, you know, it, it all depends how much I want to hang onto it, right? How, how badly do I wanna hang on to my, you know, my baby, my, you know, my idea. How, how important is that? Because in the, in the end, it really is the CEO's job to say yes or no. And the first thing, one of the first things we established in our business was that she was the c e o. Interesting. So I think that that's super important. Cuz if you're confused on who really is at the top, you're gonna have major problems. You have to be able to understand who is, who is the one that's gonna be the visionary. I mean, you can bring as many ideas as you can to the visionary and let them pick, but they have to have that defined role, and you have to, you have to know your role.

Karen Covy (13:12):

That's so interesting. So it sounds like in anything that involves the vision of the business, the overall direction of the business, that kind of thing, as ceo, she would have final say, so to speak. And what if it was something more on the operations end, on the management side? Is that more your role and so that's your, what you get final say over? Or have you divided things differently in terms of decision making?

Alex Pauls (13:41):

Yeah, that's a good question. I, I think, so our first couple years in business, we really focused on sales and marketing, getting our messaging, getting, getting the money coming in growing the business the last half of 2022, and we're, and this year we're really focusing on operations. So it's funny that you're asking this question now, it's like, man, am I the boss of operations

Karen Covy (14:07):


Alex Pauls (14:07):

I'm like, I don't know. Because I don't think either of us are experts at operations yet. I think that we're very good at sales or marketing now. I think we're very good at what we do, and I think that this, this operations piece is the piece that we have to master in 2023. And I'm really glad that you asked that. It's like, wow, am I the operations guy? You know, if I am, I'm gonna have to get pretty good at it.

Karen Covy (14:31):

Of course. You

Alex Pauls (14:31):

Know? So I would, I would, I would say right now we're both 50 50 that we're, we're not experts at it, but we're, we're working on it.

Karen Covy (14:38):

That's fair. That's fair. Yeah. What about, let's flip this over to the, to the other side, right? So we've been talking a lot about how you run the business together, but does anything about being in business with your wife affect your personal relationship? Do they overlap?

Alex Pauls (15:00):

I think that the, the biggest factor would have to be how much, and, and you can relate to this too, and any entrepreneur can relate to this, is how much your business bleeds into your personal life. I find that we, we spend a lot of time at night working when most people are, you know, hanging out with their families, relaxing. We wake up very early, we're working, we go on vacation, we're working, you know, it's, it's really, it's really an interesting thing to try and master the carving out time where you, you, you don, like, there's lots of times where I can't stop thinking about the business, and it's not just about her, it's about my piece, what I need to do next, what I forgot to do. I need, I need to jot this down, you know? I'm sure everybody that's an entrepreneur can relate to this.

Alex Pauls (15:53):

So I really think that the key is to have like we have, one of our, one of our things that we have to do is have dinner together as a family, with the girls, with the dog. They all, we all sit together every day. We have dinner. That's our, that's our time. It might not be a lot, but at least, you know, we are dedicated to that, right? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And the better you get the operations, the more time you could probably carve out for, you know, relax, relaxation time and not, and not go for a walk with the dog and talk about work. Right? Yeah.

Karen Covy (16:31):

That's, I, I so can relate to what you say because as an entrepreneur myself, I mean, I spend a lot of time working and I think this is a what you're saying is so useful, not just for people who happen to be, be in business with their spouse or thinking about doing that, but also even just people who are in business period and happen to be married because it's so hard. I think it's to, to carve out that time, that's just time for you as a couple, or you as a family with your kids. It's so important and it's something that often gets pushed to the side in the entrepreneurial world, because there's always something more to do in the business for sure. Like a hundred percent of the time, there's more that you could do if you wanted to, or if you, you know, didn't say, no, it's enough for today.

Alex Pauls (17:22):

So, yeah, I think it, I think it would be good for you. Like good, be good to yourself, you know, when you put that paper down, when you close that laptop, get better at, you know, shutting your mind off of work and being present with whatever it is you're doing, whether, whether you're walking the dog or whether you're to just to be present, you know, in, in that moment and not be thinking about all the things.

Karen Covy (17:47):

Do you have a dedicated workspace in your house or an office or someplace where you can go so that it kind of defines, all right, now I walked in the door, I am at work and that, you know, when you walk out the door, it, it maybe helps you turn off the work all the time in your head.

Alex Pauls (18:06):

Yeah, like I, I'm in a, I'm in our office right now. The, our, the only drawback is our office is an open area, so the kids can walk by and, but at the same time, they, they can see us, right? We're not hidden, you know, but we do have a dedicated space. So when I come to sit down here, this is, this is when the magic happens. I'm, I'm sitting down, but there's, but yeah, there's lots of times where I'll quickly run up and I'll grab my journal and I'll make a couple notes while I, when I think of something, right. When I, when I remember something that I'm supposed to do. But I try, I try to try my best to respect that, that time away from the desk.

Karen Covy (18:44):

That makes sense. You know, you bring up something interesting too, because you and Kati have two young daughters, right? Yeah. How do you, have you thought about you, you know, what do you think about the marriage and the business being in business with your spouse as role models for your kids? I mean, does that help you be a better parent? Does it set a tone for your children that you wanna set? How does you know the business and the, and the marriage working together, how does that impact your kids?

Alex Pauls (19:17):

Yeah, so that's a good question. Like, we're, timing wise, we're very fortunate. Like we really raised our girls to be as independent as possible, not so that we're never with them, but that they're not constantly relying on us. So we've been doing this since, I mean, they were, I guess nine and six, and now they're, you know, what, 13, 14, and and nine. So they're already at that age where they can cook for themselves. They, you know, they come, they say hi to us, but they know that we're working. And it's, it's neat though, cuz I know that we're not like most parents, right? We're, we're at home, we're working from home, and we did that before the last couple crazy years. And they get to see what it's like, you know, when two people, you know, work towards something together. So that's a really unique thing. I, I think that's a really neat, you know, piece of the puzzle that, you know, I hope, I hope for their sake that they get to enjoy that too maybe with their partners in the future. But yeah, it's being, being a parent and being an entrepreneur is not easy. If we had a one and a three-year-old, wow, it would, I would probably have a lot less hair right now,

Karen Covy (20:31):

<Laugh>. But it sounds like you're, you are being good role models for your kids and you're teaching them things that are important to learn, and they're seeing it from you, like in action. You know, people always say, you know, especially in, in my line of work, people are always asking me, well, what should I tell the kids? And the answer is, usually, it's not so important. What you say is, what's important is what you do. I mean, yeah, you've gotta be careful with your words too, but you are showing them by your actions and Kat's actions what a good relationship can be, what a business can be, and what, like you said, what it can mean to build something together, to work towards a common goal. I think that's beautiful.

Alex Pauls (21:13):

Yeah. I, I, I, honest to God, to go back to the, the constructive conflicts, our kids they don't see us argue too often because we don't argue that much. But when they do see us argue, I think we do it so well. And mind you, we've been married for a long time. Like we were not always perfect arguers in our twenties, we were probably a disaster. But it took, it took a lot of took a lot of work on ourselves to get to the point where we can get out of our own way and realize that the, that the relationship is so important that we would make sure to do our best to communicate not, you know, angrily at each other and, and be destructive when we, you know, when when you come to blows, there's, there's the right way to do it. You know, I should write a book just about that

Karen Covy (22:07):

<Laugh>, you know,

Alex Pauls (22:09):

About, about how to constructively get through your, your issues. And sometimes they're small, sometimes they're ridiculous, right? I remember one of our biggest fights one year was the playlist on our road trip, and there was some songs I didn't want on it. And I know that sounds totally ridiculous, but like, this was like one of the biggest arguments of the year that I just did not want nickelback on the playlist <laugh>, and I was gonna lose my mind. <Laugh>. <Laugh>,

Karen Covy (22:35):

That's hysterical. But you know what, you're a hundred percent right. Like, that's the way it goes sometimes that you're arguing over stupid, stupid stuff. And what I found is that it's usually whatever the thing is you're arguing about is not really the thing that you're arguing about.

Alex Pauls (22:51):


Karen Covy (22:52):

Yeah. If there's something underneath it, there's an emotion, there's a some other trigger for what's going on, and then you look back and you go, why were we arguing about Nickelback? You know? Yeah. I, I

Alex Pauls (23:03):

Don't even some, sometimes you just want to get your way right, Karen, sometimes

Karen Covy (23:07):

That's, you

Alex Pauls (23:08):

Just want to get your way

Karen Covy (23:09):

<Laugh>. That that's absolutely true. Not for me, of course. Right. <laugh>. But, so I'm curious, like, you guys have been on this journey. You've been married a long time. Like you said, you've been in business now together three years. If somebody was a young person starting out and thinking about, or maybe not so young, but somebody who's married and thinking about going into business with their spouse, what advice would you give them?

Alex Pauls (23:37):

I would give them the advice of that. You probably should do it. I really do believe in couples working together. I think it's, if you think about the power of working with your best friend, the person that you decided to spend the rest of your life with, why wouldn't you work on a common goal? Think about how much easier or how much more powerful the two of you would be together working on that, on that goal, whether it's retirement, whether it's travel. But if the two of you like came together and, and formed that vision, I, I just think that amplifies like, you know, like what, what you're working towards, and it's way more rewarding when you're doing it together. And as an entrepreneur, it's even more rewarding when you're doing it for yourself.

Karen Covy (24:24):

Yeah. So that makes sense. That makes sense.

Alex Pauls (24:27):

So what's the best advice I can give? Find out what your strengths are, each of each of your strengths. Work on them. Figure out how you can, you know, blend those things together and then, you know, forge, forge that path together.

Karen Covy (24:44):

You know, that's so interesting that you bring that, bring that up because I've been hearing recently and in the podcast that I listen to and the, you know, the books that I read, you know, there's a, there's one school of thought that says you should find out what you're, you know, what you're good at and what you're not good at, and work at the things that you're not good at to become better at them. But now it seems like the other school of thought is gaining more traction, which is no work at the things that you are good at. Do those things and let somebody else do the things that you are not good at. So. Exactly. It sounds like you're in that camp more, you know, for sure. Seniors.

Alex Pauls (25:25):

I don't, I mean, there's things that I'm not good at that I do do, but I would say the things that I'm really terrible at, my partner takes care of those things, and she's got my back and I don't have to worry about them. And the things that she doesn't do well, I do really well, and she never has to worry. So that's powerful. You know, that's really powerful when you have the person that you trust most in your life, you know, working with you and they got your back. That's, I mean, that's pretty cool.

Karen Covy (25:56):

That's really cool. So, all right, I'd like to take a little turn here and ask a question out of the blue and say, ask you what's the best decision you've ever made in your life?

Alex Pauls (26:12):

Wow. The best dec Oh, that's easy. <Laugh>.

Karen Covy (26:17):


Alex Pauls (26:17):

The best decision I ever made was when I was about, I would say I was 16 years old, maybe 17 years old. I made the decision that this is the woman that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. I cannot do, I cannot do any better. I, I know me, <laugh>, this is it. The, like, the grass is not greener. This is as good as it gets. As soon as I can, I'm gonna put a ring on her finger and we are gonna get married. And that's what, that's what I did. I think we got engaged when we were 18 or 19, and we were married when we were 20. Wow.

Karen Covy (26:51):

Yeah. That's amazing. So

Alex Pauls (26:53):

That's the best thing's, really. But I had, I had a lot of intentions. These, even as a kid that like, it's, it's funny, like the things that, you know, most kids wanna play with their bikes. I'm like, you know what, at six years old, I'm like, I wanna have the best marriage ever. Like, that was my like, intention

Karen Covy (27:11):


Alex Pauls (27:12):

Yeah. So it's like those things when I was a kid, I was like, wow, they really came true. It's really like, I'm not just, you know, I'm not just a magician. Like I had these intentions, so,

Karen Covy (27:24):

But it's, you know, I would say it's more than just an intention that you had. You made a decision, right? You had the idea and you were like, yeah, this is what I want to do. And there's power in that. There's real power in that. Whether you make that, you know, the decision that's the best decision of your life when you're six or 16 or 60. I don't know that it, that it makes a whole lot of difference, but it's that power that comes when you say, yes, this is what I want. Everything starts to conspire in the universe, I believe, to support you. And it sounds like that's what happened. That's what's happened for you and Kati

Alex Pauls (28:04):

For sure. I'm, I always have a lot of gratitude that I never take it for, I never take it for granted. I think that's another thing in relationships that I would talk about is how, how easy it is to take your partner for granted. It's, it's like your mom telling you that you're good looking. You take it for granted because she's supposed to tell you that you're the best and you're good looking. Cause it's your mom, right? And just like, just like that with your partner, oh, she loves me no matter what I do. That's wrong. You need to be the best version of you so that your partner will like, be grateful that, wow, I am married this person, they're always getting better, they're always treating me well. You know, like, you never, you never sit back on that, on your relationship. Your relationship should always be moving forward. And by you making yourself better, you show your partner that you're worthy of their love.

Karen Covy (29:01):

That I, I'm just gobsmacked by that because it's, you know, in my end of the business, I'm usually talking to people who aren't in your position, who haven't made the same choices, who have maybe, you know, things have gone south in their marriage. And it's so interesting because so many people say like, you know, I say, how did you get to the place where you're at now? And it's sometimes it is, yeah, that one big thing that happened and then everything went down the toilet from there. But a lot of times it's just this incremental, it's, it's creep, right? Sure, yeah. It's, you take them for granted here, you don't make a comment there. You say the wrong thing here, nothing gets addressed. And it's over time, it snowballs and the little things become big things. So I, I think your advice is really, really well-founded.

Alex Pauls (29:55):

<Laugh>. Thanks, Karen. I think that one, one of the things that, and just like to your, to your point is, and we were just talking about this the other day. We have, we have the tough conversation be before it becomes a catastrophic conversation, you know? Yeah, yeah. Like we, it sucks to be confronted and, and find out that, you know, like you're not doing, you're not living up to something. And it sucks. Like, it, it sucks to sit in that and to go into the garage and bang a couple boards with a hammer and cool off and then come in and say, man, I'm, you know, at least my wife was honest and brave enough to talk to me before things got too bad. Yeah. I, I think that's such a key thing for people.

Karen Covy (30:44):

It's, it's huge. And, and that's another, I mean, we could spend an hour just talking about that and the honesty part, and I can totally relate. I know in, in my marriage, my husband and I made that deal, like out of the gate that we would be honest with each other. So it's, you know, it's the classic conversation that a husband can't win. Like the wife gets all dressed up and says, honey, does this make me look fat? Yeah. And you know, he can't win that no matter what he says, but I know that if I put on a dress or anything, whatever, and I ask my husband, does this make me look fat or does it make me look fat? He's gonna say, yeah. You know, if, if he believes that, he will straight up tell it to me. And in that moment you're like, it makes me look fat. You know, it's kinda crushing <laugh>. But then when he says to me, no, that looks really good, I believe him because I know if it didn't look good, he would be honest with me. Right.

Alex Pauls (31:40):

You know what we should do right now, Karen? Huh? We should just change that question. We should change it. Women shouldn't ask that question anymore.

Karen Covy (31:51):


Alex Pauls (31:51):

We should, we should say, what do you think of this outfit? Or Do you like this outfit? Or does this outfit make me look great? Like, what do you think? Don't ask if you look fat.

Karen Covy (32:01):

Yeah, I know. I, I, it's, it's not the greatest question, but changing it with all the women in the world I think is gonna be a little bigger project than I'm ready to tackle right now.

Alex Pauls (32:13):

Okay. But we should do it together,

Karen Covy (32:15):

<Laugh>. Absolutely. All right. So I'd like to end with just a couple of questions that I, in, in all honesty, I stole some of these questions from Tim Ferris, who is one of the best interviewers that I've ever heard. So

Alex Pauls (32:29):

I have his book right here, like,

Karen Covy (32:31):

Right, right here. Me Too. <Laugh>. So what is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you've ever made in your life? It could be time, it could be money, it could be energy, it could be anything. What's the one of the best investments you've made?

Alex Pauls (32:47):

I love this question, Karen. I thank you for asking it.

Karen Covy (32:50):

You're welcome.

Alex Pauls (32:51):

You know, it's funny, I waited 37, 38 years of my life after, well, maybe I shouldn't say that, maybe 30 years after watching Top Gun, one of the coolest movies ever when I was a kid and I got myself a motorcycle. So I invested in this motorcycle despite my parents hating it, and my wife like really not being on board and wouldn't she know it? She loves it more than me. I get to have her on the back holding onto me. So I basically get a hug for like three, four hours when we go go for a drive. I like hugs, hugs are great,

Karen Covy (33:30):

Hugs are great.

Alex Pauls (33:31):

We, we get to go on these adventures. And I tell people like, when you have a motorcycle, like when you go for a road trip, you, it's like watching a movie, right? But when on a motorcycle, you're the star of the movie <laugh>. And this is the greatest investment I ever made. And I would recommend to everybody listening to go get a motorcycle and have your partner with you and just go on these adventures together. And you put on that helmet and it's, oh man, it's the greatest thing ever. Yeah,

Karen Covy (33:59):

But what, what, what about when it's raining and it's cold and it's, that's not, that can't be fun.

Alex Pauls (34:04):

Yeah. I tend not to ride in the rain, but man I have gone through the mountains and almost frozen to death and yeah. I mean, every minute that goes by is a very painful minute. And you think it's making you stronger, but it's actually like depleting you So <laugh> riding it

Karen Covy (34:21):

Actually heard

Alex Pauls (34:21):

Warm. Yeah. It hurts a lot. So Right. When it's warm, right when it's dry, like me, be a be a Fairweather rider.

Karen Covy (34:28):

That works. That totally works. Okay, one last question. When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, whether it's in your business or in your life, you know, or even if your focus is temporarily taken away, so what do you do to get it back? What do you do to bring yourself back up to, to replenish yourself? Cuz we've talked about that a little bit already.

Alex Pauls (34:53):

Yeah, that's another really awesome question. Wow. cuz it's funny because I'm actually working on that right now. So I I've been dealing with a lot of overwhelm in the last, I would say a year. It's, it's a lot on your plate when you're an entrepreneur and you know, totally. You can't, you can't sugarcoat that. So the thing that I, that I've been doing lately that's been really working for me, so I'm super happy to share this with everybody, is, it's funny, I hit the snooze bar in the morning when I wake up and instead of falling back asleep for those 10 minutes, I, I just call it like my 10 minutes of gratitude where I just lay there and I, I think about, you know, those things that pop into my mind of, of the people that I'm grateful for, the things that I'm grateful for, the experiences that I'm grateful for, and wow does, it really does. I mean, it might sound cheesy, but it really does set me up for a way better day. Like, yeah. And then that alarm come, comes on again and it's like the music starts and it's like, this is gonna be a really good day. I don't have that anxiety because it's like, wow, I have all these amazing things that I, I'm 10 minutes of gratitude in the morning. Who would've thought? But that's what I've been doing lately and it's really making a huge impact on my life.

Karen Covy (36:08):

Alex, that's amazing. I can't think of a better place to end the interview or better way to end it than that. It has been such a pleasure talking with you. I think like we were talking before the, the show about next time, we've gotta get you and Kati on both at the same time. I think that's gonna be a fascinating interview. And I just wanna thank you so much for being here and can you tell everyone where they can find you?

Alex Pauls (36:33):

Sure. If everybody can go to kp you can book a meeting with us. You can check us out. You can see me on LinkedIn, Alex Pauls we have our book here, partners and everything that we co-wrote with some other couples. So a lot of the stuff that we've been talking about, we actually have been writing in our book. So yeah, just go to kp You can even buy our book off there. And yeah, I, I really appreciate the opportunity, Karen. I had a really nice time talking to you.

Karen Covy (37:01):

Thank you. I did too. And just a little plug for what you do and your business. You are amazing at seo, Google Ads, all things website. I can, you know, attest to that from personal experience. So thank you so much for being here. If you enjoy today's talk, if you, you know, don't forget to like and subscribe to the channel. I'm Karen Covey and I look forward to seeing you in the ne next episode.

Head shot of Karen Covy in an Orange jacket smiling at the camera with her hand on her chin.

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach, Lawyer, Mediator, Author, and Speaker. She coaches high net worth professionals and successful business owners to make hard decisions about their marriage with confidence, and to navigate divorce with dignity.  She speaks and writes about decision-making, divorce, and living life on your terms. To connect with Karen and discover how she can help you, CLICK HERE.


business, marriage, marriage tips, off the fence podcast

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