When you’re going through a divorce, and you feel like you’re all alone, having someone you can turn to for comfort and guidance can make a giant difference in your life. Yet, no matter how good your friends and family try to be, they can’t always be with you. Plus, unless they also happen to be divorce professionals, their advice may be well-intentioned, and still totally wrong. How can you get the support of a loved one and the advice of a well-seasoned professional all wrapped into one? You can do it by getting yourself some good divorce books.
Divorce books cover every subject, from deciding to divorce all the way to learning how to put your life back together once your divorce is over. They can help you deal with conflict, rebuild your finances, and heal your broken heart.
When you’re going through a divorce, a good book can be your best friend and your greatest comfort.
They also cost a whole lot less than any divorce professional you'll ever see. (Although, in the interest of full disclosure, you STILL need good divorce professionals by your side too!)
The point is, though, if you’re going through a divorce – or you know someone else who is – investing in a few good divorce books can be the wisest decision you make.
Here is a list of 30 of the best divorce books that can inform, distract, and advise anyone going through a divorce, or trying to rebuild their life after divorce.
Table of Contents
- Deciding to Divorce
- Dealing with Divorce and Breakups
- Surviving Divorce
- Autobiographical Novels/Memoirs
- Distracting Yourself From Divorce
- Divorce Books for Single Parents
- Books to Help Kids Through Divorce
- High Conflict Divorce
- Rebuilding Your Finances After Divorce
- Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce
- Growth and Healing After Divorce
- Bonus Book
Best Divorce Books
Deciding to Divorce
Too Good to Leave Too Bad to Stay, A Step-by-Step Guide to Helping You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your Relationship, Mira Kirshenbaum.
This divorce book should be required reading for anyone struggling with the decision to divorce. Written with wisdom and compassion, this classic text on deciding to divorce guides readers to decide which direction to take their relationship, or to realize that they actually don’t want to make a decision at all.
The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage, Kate Anthony.
The D Word is a guide for any woman who wants to take control of her life, either by ending or repairing her marriage. This is a practical handbook for any woman contemplating divorce to help her make a decision she has confidence in. (NOTE: This book is written for women from a woman's perspective.)
Dealing with Divorce and Breakups
It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy, Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola Behrendt.
Although this is not, strictly speaking, a book that is only about divorce, the wisdom it brings applies as much to a divorce as to any other breakup. Written like advice from your best friend, this book is like a buddy to help you get through the pain and back on your feel.
Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead, Brene Brown.
Whether you're a divorcing parent, a teacher, a soldier, or the leader of a Fortune 500 company, your ability to get back up after you've fallen down is the key to your success. In this best selling book, Dr. Brene Brown outlines the process of rising strong: recognizing the power of emotion and leaning into your discomfort.
You'll Get Through This: Hope and Help for Turbulent Times, Max Lucado.
Written from a Christian perspective, this book offers hope and help to those dealing with loss. Using the story of Joseph from the Old Testament, this book digs deeply into what it means to go through hard times as a believer.
Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life, Abigail Trafford.
Another classic among divorce books, this book helps people weather the crazy time of divorce and move forward toward building a new life. Now in its third edition, this book provides a common-sense way to approach and navigate divorce.
Resilience: Hard-Won Wisdom for Living a Better Life, Eric Greitens Navy Seal.
If there is one thing that you need to get through your divorce and thrive afterward it is resilience. Who better than a Navy Seal can help you live through your grief to get out the other side?
It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand, Megan Devine.
As a therapist and a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her life's love and partner, Megan Devine offers a new way to look at, and cope with, grief, loss, love, and healing. Although this book was written for those who are grieving the death of a loved one, it applies with equal force to those mourning the death of their marriage.
Surviving Divorce
How to Survive the Loss of a Love, Peter McWilliams, Harold H. Bloomfield, & Melba Colgrove.
This seminal book on surviving loss has been around since the 1970s, but it is every bit as helpful today as it is when it was originally written. Filled with compassion and common sense, it not surprising that this book has sold over two million copies.This is Me Letting You Go, Heidi Priebe.
Letting go is an art. It doesn't come naturally to us. In this series of essays, Heidi Priebe explores the harsh reality of what it means to let go of the people we love most - often before we are ready to – and how to embrace what comes next.
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, Pema Chodron.
When her own marriage fell apart, Pema Chodron turned to Buddhism to make sense of her world. Now a world-renowned spiritual teacher and Buddhist monk, she has inspired and guided millions in getting past their own pain and hardship.
Autobiographical Novels/Memoirs
Heartburn, Nora Ephron.
You wouldn’t think divorce could be funny, yet somehow the incomparable Nora Ephron finds a way to make it so. This hilarious tale of the author’s divorce will help you take your mind off your own.
Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert.
If you can’t journey around the world after your divorce like Elizabeth Gilbert did, then reading this book is the next best thing. There is nothing like vicariously enjoying sumptuous Italian food, opening up your soul in an ashram in India, or finding yourself in Bali to help you start a new life.
Distracting Yourself From Divorce
The Harry Potter Series, J.K. Rowling.
Nothing can take your mind off your own pain better than the seven magical Harry Potter books. True, they have nothing to do with divorce ... but that’s the point.
A Game of Thrones/A Clash of Kings/A Storm of Swords/A Feast of Crows/A Dance With Dragons, George R.R. Martin.
If you REALLY want to take your mind off your pain, you can also start reading George R.R. Martin's classic Game of Thrones series. Fair warning though, these books will hook you in and consume you! Since each book is roughly 1000 pages long, if you don't have a lot of time on your hands, you might want to pass these by!
Divorce Books for Single Parents
Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex- A Hands-on, Practical Guide to Communicating with a Difficult Ex-Spouse, Julie Ross, M.A., & Julie Corcoran.
In a perfect world, you and your ex would be able to work together in peace for the benefit of your children. But the world isn’t always perfect. If you are finding co-parenting a challenge, this book can definitely help.
Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way, M. Gary Neuman.
This time-honored book is another great one for helping your kids cope with your divorce. Based on the phenomenally successful Sandcastles program, which has helped more than fifty thousand children cope with divorce, this book guides parents on how to deal with many different issues their children may face after divorce.
The Co-Parenting Handbook: Raising Well-Adjusted and Resilient Kids from Little Ones to Young Adults Through Divorce or Separation, Karen Bonnell with Kristin Little.
Couples divorce, but parents are parents forever. This handbook addresses parents' questions about the emotional impact of grief, separation, conflict, and recovery for children. It also helps parents confidently take on the challenges of guiding children through divorce or separation and raising them skillfully in two homes.
Mum, Dad, Can You Hear Me? An Emotional Story of a Child Overcoming Her Parents' Divorce, Despina Mavridou
Based on a true story, this book chronicles the life of a fictional 10 year old girl who turns to journalingcoupled with the wisdom of her grandmother to deal with her parents' divorce. Remcommended for kids ages 8 - 12.
Books to Help Kids Through Divorce
It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce, Vicki Lansky.
Another classic divorce book, It’s Not Your Fault Koko Bear can help you explain your divorce to your young children in a way that they can understand.
Dinosaurs Divorce, Marc Brown and Laurie Krasny Brown.
Changing families have been using Dinosaurs Divorce to learn to talk to each other about one of life's most difficult moments for decades. If you've got kids, reading this book together can serve as a springboard for working through this tough time in your family's life.
Two Homes, Claire Masurel.
Few books for divorcing parents are as positive, simple, and child-centered as this one. If you're a divorcing parent with very young children, this small book can help you explain your divorce to your kids in words that they understand.
Please Explain Divorce to Me Because My Parents Are Breaking Up, Laurie Zelinger, PhD
The first part of this book is a story for children by a child explaining her parents' divorce. The second half of the book highlights important tips and insights for divorcing parents.
High Conflict Divorce
High Conflict People in Legal Disputes, Bill Eddy.
Whether your spouse is a narcissist, has a personality disorder, or is just a very difficult, high-conflict person, knowing how to deal with him/her in a legal situation is a critical skill you'll need if you want to maintain your sanity.
BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns, Bill Eddy.
If you are finding it challenging to deal with your high conflict ex, both during and especially after, your divorce, then this is the book for you. It will give you a formula you can use to diffuse any high-conflict situation. The best part is, your ex won’t even realize you are doing it!
BIFF for CoParent Communication: Your Guide to Difficult Texts, Emails, and Social Media Posts, Bill Eddy.
This book is crafted specifically for parents dealing with issues during, and after, separation and divorce. Complete with instructions in the four-step BIFF method, and numerous practical examples, readers will learn how to communicate more effectively with a difficult co-parent.
Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Bill Eddy.
Splitting provides you with eye-opening information about antisocial personalities, domestic violence, child abuse, alienation, and ealing with false allegations. It will help you navigate protective orders, child custody disputes and more.
Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield, Tina Swithin.
Based on her own high conflict divorce, author Tina Swithin gives you the real scoop on how to handle your divorce from a person who is so self-absorbed, that s/he is beyond difficult to handle (a/k/a a narcissist or someone with a personality disorder!)
Rebuilding Your Finances After Divorce
I Will Teach You To Be Rich, Ramit Sethi.
Divorce is a huge financial challenge, on a lot of levels. This best-selling book on personal finance will give you the tools you need to set yourself on the road to financial security after your divorce. The 10th-anniversary edition features 80 new pages with new tools, new insights, and new stories to guide you in your journey toward financial security.
The Richest Man in Babylon, George S. Clason.
This book has been around for decades for a reason: it is one of the best books about making and keeping money that you will ever read. Simple, short, and entertaining, this book is a “must-read” for anyone looking to become truly wealthy.
Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce
Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You, Susan J. Elliott, J.D.
Another classic, this book provides you with a road map for getting through your divorce and moving past it. Author Susan Elliott provides you with the rules of disengagement, tools for navigating grief, the secret to breaking the pattern of failed relationships, and more.Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life, Gary John Bishop.
If you're ready to demolish the slag weighing you down and become the amazing person you really are, this straightforward handbook can guide you on your way. Crude title notwithstanding, this book can show you how to lead the life you were meant to have.
Mars and Venus Starting Over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce, or the Loss of a Loved One, John Gray, Ph.D.
Another book in the Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus series, this divorce book helps you find love again after your divorce. (HINT: This may not be the best thing to read when your divorce is just beginning, but it will be amazing a little later on!)
Growth and Healing After Divorce
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, Brene Brown.
What if being imperfect was actually perfection? In this best-selling book Brene Brown, a leading expert on shame and authenticity, shares ten guideposts for wholehearted living.
You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay.
You may think that you can never put the pieces of your shattered life back together again, but Louise Hay shows you that you can not only re-create your life, but you can absolutely thrive by doing it. If I could read only one book about how to create a life you love, this would be it.
You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, Jen Sincero.
In this slightly irreverent and very entertaining book, Jen Sincero helps you identify and change your limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging behavior to create a life you love. Full of inspiring stories, sage advice, and practical exercises, this book is a practical guide to making monumental changes in your life.
BONUS DIVORCE BOOK!
Another excellent book that will help guide you through your divorce is:
When Happily Ever After Ends: How to Survive Your Divorce Emotionally, Financially, and Legally.
This practical book provides you with down-to-earth advice you can use to get through your divorce, as well as plenty of stories of those who have done it before you. CLICK HERE to get your copy. (And, yes, I happen to have written this one myself, so of course, I had to include it here!)
Looking for More Than a Divorce Book?
No matter how amazing books can be, not everyone is excited about reading divorce books - especially once their divorce is over!
If you, or someone you know, has just been through a divorce, a divorce gift that's NOT a book may be just what they need! CLICK HERE to check out some creative and unique divorce gifts that can help mark the transition from married to single in style!
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NOTE: I am recommending these divorce books because I honestly believe they are good. I have read most of them myself. But you need to know that all links to the books on this page are affiliate links. If you buy these books using these links, I will get a small commission from Amazon. You are welcome to buy these books from anywhere you like. The Amazon links are just here for your convenience.
Revised and updated December 11, 2023.
Hi Karen,
thank you so much for taking the time to make these amazing resources
Available!
Warm regards,
Matt Stiefvater
You’re welcome!
I couldn’t agree more that a book can be a best friend and comfort. I wanted to point out another really special, and very unique, book created specifically for very young children whose families are divorcing. “Bear’s Changing Family” is a personalized book that helps parents with very young children (ages 3-7) talk about divorce. Children marvel at how much they have in common with the main character, Bear, like a favorite toy or comfort item. When they see that Bear is ok, they think, “I’ll be ok too.” It was informed by the work of researchers and experts to educate, comfort, and empower children. Plus, personalization enhances comprehension, memory, attention, and engagament. Bear makes divorce more bearable.
Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
By Bill Eddy & Randi Kreger
Exposing Financial Abuse: When Money is a Weapon (Healing From Hidden Abuse)
By Shannon Thomas
Hi Karen:
What a wonderful gift for anyone facing the challenges of divorce. Thanks for putting this important list together. May I suggest one ebook, I wrote as founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network? HOW DO I TELL THE KIDS ABOUT THE DIVORCE? A Create-a-Storybook Guide To Preparing Your Children –With Love! It’s a unique, internationally acclaimed approach to breaking the divorce news to the kids while keeping both parents on the same page to ensure a happier future for everyone in the family. It’s exclusively available at: https://www.childcentereddivorce.com/kids
Sure, Rosalind. You do amazing work! People would do well to read your book too!
As a recently divorced husband of 30+ years, a couple of these books were in front of me at the right time of my divorce process. You Are a Badass was perfect for the times I was going through self-doubt and needed to be reminded that I have so much to give back. Your book, When Happily Ever After Ends was the first book that I picked up and boy was I glad that I did. Thanks for putting together this list of resources, I’m sure that I’ll be able to share them with others with confidence. Happy Holidays!
You’re welcome!
Another great one is “20 Years Gone: A Divorce Story” by Dorian Wright (on Amazon)
Thanks! I’ll check it out.