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Preparing for Divorce: The Top 10 Tips You’ve Got to Know

Are You Ready for Divorce?

TAKE THIS QUIZ and Find Out. 

Preparing for divorce sounds cold, calculating, and more than a little bit manipulative.

For many, it conjures up images of sleazy spouses who are determined to bleed their partners dry. For example, there’s the greedy businessman who spends years hiding his money in offshore accounts so when he files for divorce there’s nothing left to divide. Or the gold-digger wife who patiently waits until the prenup has expired before telling her husband she’s done.

At the same time, getting a divorce is unquestionably one of the major events in anyone’s life. So, is preparing for divorce really manipulative? Or is it actually smart?

Like almost everything else in divorce, the answer is: it depends.

Scheming young woman preparing for divorce.

When Preparing for Divorce, Motive Matters

Whether preparing for divorce is sleezy or smart depends both on your motives and on the kind of “preparation” you’re doing.

If your “preparation” includes hiding assets, diverting income, manipulating your kids, or doing anything else to disadvantage your spouse in your divorce, then YES! Your preparation is sleezy.  It’s also dishonest. Depending on exactly what you do, it may even be criminal.

On the other hand, if your “preparation” includes learning about what you’ll be facing in your divorce, getting a handle on your finances, or researching good divorce attorneys in your area, then NO. Your preparation is not sleezy. It’s smart.

What’s more, if your spouse has been abusive, either physically, financially, or emotionally, during your marriage, then taking the time to prepare for divorce is not just smart. It’s absolutely essential.

Why You Should Prepare for Divorce

In most areas of life, people intuitively understand that being prepared is smart. The bigger and more important the issue that they’re facing, the more they want to be prepared.

That’s why people spend months, or years, planning their wedding.  A wedding is (theoretically) a once-in-a-lifetime event.  So they want their wedding to be perfect.

People are also willing to invest in their wedding being perfect. Many people spend tens of thousands of dollars (or more) on their wedding celebration, dresses, flowers, photographs, food etc. (Although research has shown that the more you spend on your wedding, the greater your chances of divorce.)

Yet, somehow, even though most people will gladly invest time and money to make sure their wedding goes well, they’re reluctant to do the same with their divorce.

In a way, that makes sense. A wedding is a happy event. A divorce … not so much!

Yet a divorce affects your life just as much, if not more, than a marriage. That’s because when you prepare for your wedding, you’re  investing time and money in an event. A wedding happens in one day.

When you prepare for your divorce, on the other hand, you’re investing time and money in your future. A divorce may be finalized in one day, but you can feel the legal, financial, and emotional ramifications of that day for years to come.

That’s why preparing for divorce is so critically important.

The Benefits of Preparing for Divorce

The more you prepare for your divorce, the more you increase your chances of getting the outcome you want.  Plus, the more you prepare yourself for your divorce, the more time and money you are likely to save in the divorce process.

Close up of a hand with a "thumbs up" indicating that being prepared is a good thing.

Being prepared for divorce:

  • Enables you to get a clear picture of your finances before you start your divorce. That, in turn, will help you position yourself to manage your finances after your divorce better.
  • Prevents you from having to worry that important financial documents will suddenly “disappear” once the word “divorce” is mentioned.
  • Saves you money in attorneys’ fees. Your attorney won’t have to subpoena information if you provide it to him/her from the start.
  • Gives you the time you need to prepare yourself emotionally for what’s coming when you divorce.
  • Allows you to start planning for your post-divorce life sooner rather than later. Having a concrete plan for how you and your kids will survive after your divorce will dramatically reduce your anxiety and stress as you go through your divorce.

Because preparing for divorce is so important, it’s worth knowing the best ways to do it.

Here are 10 of the most important tips you will need to prepare for divorce as effectively as possible.

10 Tips for Preparing for Divorce

Infographic showing 10 Essential Steps to Prepare for Divorce

1. Deal with Your Emotions First.

Emotions drive divorce. Period. They drive every argument. They fuel every court battle. And they cause most of the pain.

The more you allow your emotions to run wild, the more likely your divorce will spin out of control.

Of course, controlling your emotions while you’re going through a divorce is no easy task. Divorce is hugely emotional. No matter what you do, you’re going to lose it sometimes.

But, the more you can learn to keep your emotions in check, the less drama you will experience in your divorce.

Because of that, the smartest thing you can do is to start getting a handle on your emotions as soon as divorce becomes a possibility in your life.

Get yourself a therapist or a divorce coach, or join a divorce support group, as soon as possible. Waiting until you have a complete emotional melt-down before you get help is guaranteed to make your divorce more difficult to manage.

Resources

Here are some articles that will help you deal with the emotional aspects of divorce:

2. Get Organized & Collect Documents.

Divorce is a document-driven process. You are going to need to put together a small mountain of financial information in order to get through your divorce. (Sorry!)

You’re going to need to gather your income tax returns, W-2 forms, paycheck stubs, bank statements, credit card statements, and tons of other documents.

What’s more, it’s not going to be enough to just dump those documents in a pile on your attorney’s desk. You’ve got to get all your documents organized too.

The more you can organize your financial information for your attorney, the less money you will have to spend to have your attorney organize that information for you.

Of course, when you’re going through a divorce, focusing on anything takes longer. Focusing on organizing financial documents (especially if you weren’t the one who handled the family finances) is even more challenging.

That’s why getting organized in advance is so critically important. The more organized you can be going into your divorce, the more grief you will save yourself during your divorce.

Resources

Your FREE Divorce Tool Kit – Getting organized is easier when you know HOW to do it. This free divorce tool kit comes complete with a document checklist, a divorce checklist, AND a divorce process comparison chart. You’ll also get tips on how to tell your spouse you want a divorce and more. CLICK HERE to get your Divorce Tool Kit now.

Smart young girl with glasses and a graduation cap: educate yourself

3. Invest in Your Education.

The divorce process is not user-friendly. It’s complicated and difficult. It doesn’t work the way most people think that it works.

The more you know about divorce before you start your divorce process, the easier it’s likely to go. But, getting the education you need can be challenging.

First you need to learn about the divorce process itself, as well as the choices you have today for getting through your divorce. Those choices include mediation, litigation, arbitration, and Collaborative Divorce.

Then you’re going to need to learn how you can get yourself ready for whatever process you choose. You’re also going to need to discover how to choose a divorce lawyer who will be right for whatever divorce process you use.

You’ll also need to know the basics about how finances work in a divorce. That includes understanding how property is divided in divorce, as well as how child support and spousal support (a/ka/ alimony) are set in your state.

If that sounds like a lot … it is! Thankfully, you don’t need to get everything figured out all at once. You also don’t need to know all the answers BEFORE you start your divorce.

At the same time, while you don’t need to become an expert in everything in order to be prepared for your divorce, knowing as much as you can will help you in a big way.

Resources

The best comprehensive, understandable, accessible, and affordable way to learn about divorce is with The Divorce Road Map Online Program.

This simple tool gives you access to a series of videos that explain every step in the divorce process, no matter what state you live in or which divorce process you use. It also gives you downloadable tools that will make your divorce easy to organize and easy to manage.

The Divorce Road Map also provides you with guidance on how to avoid the most common divorce pitfalls and save time and money in attorney’s fees.

CLICK HERE to check out The Divorce Road Map now.

4. Understand Your Finances.

If you don’t want to end up behind the financial eight ball after your divorce you must understand how money works BEFORE you start the divorce process.

That means that you need to get comfortable working with numbers. If that thought scares you, it’s time to get over it. (Sorry to be harsh!)

Like it or not, divorce involves money. Not understanding how money works (and not taking the time to learn!) is the single quickest way to get completely screwed over in your divorce.

(And, yes, that’s true even if you have a lawyer! A good divorce lawyer can make a huge difference in the outcome of your divorce. But lawyers are still only lawyers. They aren’t financial planners and they aren’t magicians.)

You can’t divide your assets unless you know what you have and what you owe.

You won’t know whether you will be able to survive after your divorce, unless you understand much money you will have coming in after your divorce, and what will be going out.

If dealing with numbers has never been your thing, that’s okay. You don’t need to get a degree in higher math just to make it through your divorce. But you do need to start learning the basics of personal finance asap.

Resources

There are plenty of places online where you can learn the basics of personal finance.

If you want to learn the basics of personal finance in divorce, the Divorce Road Map is a great place to start.

5. Make A Financial Plan.

Red Arrows saying "No Plan" falling into a crevass while green arrow points saying Plan Ahead points upward.

Understanding your finances is step one in preparing for divorce. Having a financial plan for your post-divorce future is step two.

Miss either one of those steps and your post-divorce finances are not likely to be pretty.

A basic financial plan requires you to create two things: A budget, and a balance sheet. Depending upon how complicated your finances are, you may be able to create both of those documents yourself.

If your finances are complicated, working with a divorce financial planner can be an enormous help. S/he can help you create a basic financial plan. A good financial planner can also help you create financial projections to show you how long your money will last, and how much you need to save to meet your future financial needs.

Many financial planners also work as financial investors. So, after they have helped you create a solid financial plan, they can also help you invest your money so that you achieve your financial goals.

Resources

Here are some articles that will help you deal with the financial aspects of divorce:

6. Assemble Your Team. 

No one should go through a divorce alone.

Trying to go through a divorce without the right help is like trying to win an Olympic gold medal without having coaches and trainers. You might be able to do it, but the odds are against you.

In a perfect world, your divorce team should include professionals to cover every aspect of divorce, including the legal, financial and emotional parts of divorce.

That means that you will be wise to work with a divorce lawyer, a financial adviser, and a therapist. While that may sound expensive, there are ways to assemble a divorce team that won’t necessarily cost you a fortune.

While it’s always best to hire a divorce lawyer to represent you fully in your divorce, if that’s not financially feasible for you, then you may be able to hire a lawyer as a consultant in your divorce. (Doing that is called getting “unbundled legal services.” That’s now available in many states.)

Putting the right divorce team together takes time. If you can start interviewing and finding the right divorce professionals before you start your divorce, you will be prepared to move forward more quickly once your divorce is in process.

Resources

Here are some articles that will help you put together a quality divorce team:

Can Unbundled Legal Services Make Your Divorce Cheaper?

Finding a Therapist Through BetterHelp

The Ultimate List of Divorce Support Groups and Why You Need One!

7. Explore Your Options.

There are many different ways to resolve your divorce today, including through mediationlitigationdirect negotiationarbitration, and Collaborative Divorce. The divorce process that you use can directly affect the outcome you get in your divorce.

But you have more options than just a choice of divorce process.

As long as you’re not relying on a judge to make your divorce decisions for you, you also have a lot of options about the WAY your divorce issues get handled.

For example, while most judges will order one spouse to pay the other child support, if you and your spouse can agree, there may be other ways to handle child support, especially if you share time with your kids on a fairly equal basis.

Pensive woman with shorthair and glasses staring at a laptop screen

The same thing is true about dividing your assets.  Even if you and your spouse agree that you will split your assets on a percentage basis, WHICH assets each of you gets is a separate issue.

The bottom line is that divorce is full of choices. There isn’t just ONE way to do anything in divorce. Being prepared in your divorce includes KNOWING YOUR OPTIONS.

After all, unless you know what your choices are, you can’t possibly make good ones.

Resources

Here are some articles that will help you understand more of your divorce options, and avoid the pitfalls that come with not knowing those options:

The Real Truth About How Divorce Works: 10 Rules You May Not Know

21 Divorce Mistakes You DON’T Want to Make!

53 Pieces of Divorce Advice Your Lawyer May Not Have Told You (But Should Have!)

8. Set Realistic Goals.

The most important question you should ask yourself when you’re starting your divorce is incredibly simple. Yet, most divorcing people don’t ask it of themselves.  Ever.

That’s because answering this question isn’t as easy as it seems.

The problem is that unless you ask yourself this question at the beginning of your divorce, you’re probably going to be dissatisfied with the result you get at the end of your divorce.

So what is this all-important question?

What do I want?

If you don’t clearly know what you want in your divorce, your chances of getting it are incredibly slim.

Of course, just asking yourself “What do I want” isn’t the only thing you have to do.  There’s a catch. (Of course, you knew there had to be one, right?)

You can’t want everything!  

You need to identify the ONE, or maybe TWO, most important goals in your divorce.  

Why can you only have one or two goals?

… because having too many goals is like having no goals. You can’t focus on everything at once. Knowing what you want means being crystal clear on what matters the most to you in your divorce.

Finally, in order to achieve your goal(s), they must be legally and financially possible.

You can want your spouse to pay you $1,000,000 in your divorce. But if the total amount of your marital assets is only $100, thinking you’ll $1,000,000 is simply not realistic.

Resources

Here’s an article that will help you understand more about goal setting in your divorce:

How To Set Goals For Your Divorce [… And Why You Need To!]

Sad boy holding a stuffed toy and looking out the window.

9. Minimize the Damage to Your Kids.

If you have children, one of your top priorities is probably to make sure that your divorce doesn’t ruin their lives.

The key is to truly put your children first. While most parents intend to do exactly that, it’s easy to get so caught up in your own pain during a divorce that you don’t think about what your kids are going through as much as you otherwise might do.

So, a big part of preparing for divorce when you’re a parent means understanding what will happen to your kids in the divorce process, and then doing your best to minimize their pain. (And, btw, “kids” includes your adult children, too! Just because your children may be over 18 does not mean that they won’t be affected by your divorce!)

The kinds of things you’ll have to consider include:

  • Breaking the news of your divorce to your kids in the most empathetic way possible;
  • Supporting your kids’ emotionally as they try to navigate all the changes in their lives;
  • Reassuring your kids that, no matter what, you love them and that your divorce was NOT their fault;
  • Supporting your kids financially;
  • Being honest with your kids about the ways that their lives will change after the divorce.

Whether you like it or not, your divorce WILL affect your children. You can’t control that. But what you CAN control is whether it affects them positively, negatively, or a little bit of both.

Resources

Here are articles that will help you understand how to minimize the damage to your kids in your divorce:

The Surprising Truth About the Effects of Divorce on Children

The Biggest Myth About the Effect of Divorce on Adult Children

How to Tell Your Kids About Divorce: 7 Tips You Need to Know

Woman meditating in an office is managing her emotional triggers

10. Make Peace With Your Divorce.

Getting a divorce is probably not what you thought you would ever be doing. It may go against everything you told yourself you believed in. It may crush your dreams of how your life was “supposed” to be, or what your future was going to look like.

Yet, divorce happens.

While most people associate the end of a marriage with failure, that isn’t always true. Ending an abusive marriage isn’t a failure. Ending a marriage in which you’re miserable also isn’t a failure. (At least, it’s not by my definition!)

What’s more, YOU are not your marriage. Even if – by your own definition – your marriage failed, that doesn’t make YOU a failure. It just makes you human.

Coming to terms with your divorce, and the whole host of emotions that go along with it, takes time. It takes work.

It also takes a lot of patience and kindness toward yourself.

Yet, if you’re willing to put in the work and be patient with yourself, you WILL get through it. You WILL find peace, and with it, a whole new life.

Resources

Here are articles that will help you work through your emotions and find peace both during and after your divorce:

Divorce Stigma: Why Getting Divorced Doesn’t Make You a Failure

Is Your Divorce Story Holding You Back?

Mindset Matters in Divorce: How to Go from Scarcity to Abundance

Upset African American woman contemplating divorce

Changing the Conversation in Your Head

Preparing for divorce isn’t easy or fun. Yet unless you’re prepared, your divorce is likely to be more painful, drawn out, and expensive.

Being prepared will make you more confident and will give you more control over the way things go down. That, in turn, will help to reduce your stress level AND put you in a better position to move on once your divorce is over.

(And yes, the better prepared you are going into your divorce, the more likely you are to get what you want coming out of your divorce!)

Does that mean that, as long as you’re prepared, your divorce will be a walk in the park?

Of course not!

But, at least it might not be an ultra-marathon through the bowels of hell either.

_______________

This post was originally written on January 9, 2019 and updated on June 10, 2021.

Karen Covy

Karen Covy is a Divorce Coach, Lawyer, Mediator, Arbitrator and a Collaborative Divorce Professional. She coaches people to make hard decisions with confidence, and navigate divorce with dignity. To connect with Karen and discover how she can help you, CLICK HERE.


Tags

dealing with divorce, deciding to divorce, divorce blog, divorce tips


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  • This is a really helpful article. In retrospect, I think I’ve been contemplating the potential of myself getting divorced. Roughly 4 years ago I returned back to college to successfully earn my degree and was able to secure a very comfortable salary in a great position/company. My main concern/question is how to proceed on a “side” business that my spouse created quite a few years back and houses within our shared home. There’s been many investments made into equipment and materials by the spouse from household income that I want to ensure I receive compensation for all the assets the spouse has purchased. This business has consumed one entire floor of the family dwelling and my question is do I need to categorize each asset? There are no formal “books” for this business as I stayed out of taking on that responsibility and the spouse is not the most honest person and doesn’t want a “paper” trail of the business’ finances. Other than taxes each year is the only way to obtain those figures which I know doesn’t include everything. So, some advice would be appreciated.

    • Oh my! First, let me congratulate you on getting your degree and a good job! Kudos to you!

      As for the rest, I wish I had good news for you, but the truth is, you’re in a bit of a rough spot.

      You can value your spouse’s business in divorce but that usually costs several thousand dollars (at least!). Plus, if the books of the business aren’t accurate …. well, you know what they say. Garbage in, garbage out. The more accurate and complete the business records, the more likely you will be to get a reasonably fair valuation of the business. But, the truth is, there is rarely anything fair about divorce.

      Here’s the hard truth you probably don’t want to hear. No matter what you do it’s unlikely you will ever get compensated for all of your investment in the business.(Sorry!) With good records you might be able to recoup a little more. But, not all of the money you put into a business actually raises the value of the business. Plus, if your spouse is less than honest, you can bet that your spouse will be doing as much as possible to decrease the value of the business while you’re going through a divorce.

      In the end you will have a choice. You can spend tens of thousands of dollars (or more!) in legal and forensic accounting fees to try to get the business valued at what it’s truly worth. Or, you can cut your losses and settle on an amount that you know is not accurate, but that at least keeps you from getting entrenched in a long, drawn-out and expensive court battle.

      In the meantime, preparation is key. You might want to consult with both a lawyer in your area and a CPA who specializes in business valuations. They can tell you more about how this particular business might be valued and what kind of information you should start to collect to determine its value should you divorce. They might even be able to give you an idea of what it will cost to investigate the business value should your spouse contest its value.

      Sorry I can’t be the bearer of better news.

      Good luck.

      Karen

  • Karen,
    Have been reading your blog. I have been with my husband 10 years. He wants a separation. Long story I will try and shorten. My mother has Dementia but is still just about here. She moved home to be close to me. She has carers but I spend a lot of the day with her because this a very small town and she was very lonely. Therefore I have not worked since we moved here because I was worried about her I had told Mum I must get back to work to to prepare her. We are alcoholics my husband has been sober 10 years. Whereas my sobriety has been harder for me. I have been sober for good lengths of time over the years but unfortunately I have been very anxious about my Mum, he is not really supportive of her and I almost had to beg to get her invited for Christmas. I drank on emotions it had me shouting in the street at him. And I have been messy in the house. I cannot speak to him as he moved out,I think I was abrupt with his father on the phone. What an utter calamity I have caused and all this heartbreak because of my stupidity. He wants a separation I think his family will push him into Divorce and I am afraid of being in court and people saying horrible things about me, and I still Love him & Im pretty sure he still loves me though he is very mad with me. I hope it will be a short separation and that I can stay in the house, what are your thoughts. I have been stupid. My Mum is upset and rings me constantly for reassurances that I am finding it hard to dig deep enough to do.

    • Oh my! It sounds like your recent drinking is at the root of many of your problems.

      Before you do anything else, I would strongly suggest that you get into recovery as soon as possible. I don’t know where you’re at or what kind of programs are available to you, but I know that Alcoholics Anonymous is a world wide organization. Try going to some AA meetings. If you need to be in a more focused program, find one and get yourself into it. Your # 1 priority has to be to get clean and sober. Once you do that, you can work on your marriage. As a matter of fact, once you do that, your marital problems may take care of themselves.

      But, until you stop drinking completely, your marriage is not likely to do well.

      Good luck,

      Karen

      PS As far as having people say horrible things about you in court, that only happens if your case actually goes through hearings in court. Most cases don’t. Most cases settle. But, even if yours doesn’t, worrying about what people will say in court is so far down the road, it’s not worth focusing on at the moment. Right now, getting clean and sober is the only thing you probably want to focus on.

  • I am 7 weeks postpartum with my second. I have been recovering from c-section and my husband doesn’t care. My husband has not touched me unless it is for sex, he asks me to keep my clothes on (I assume during and after pregnancy, I am fat and disfigured). The first time he touched me after having the baby was to have me give him oral sex, I thought he was pulling me in for a hug (finally). I feel heartbroken and hurt. He says he loves me but I am so angry. I have spent my whole maternity leave in tears. I don’t sing to my baby, I just hold him and cry all day.

    I am so unhappy. I never thought this would happen to me. Please advise. Our children are young, but I am too sad to me a good mother. I feel terrible. I want to leave my husband but his whole family are lawyers. I am scared that he will take my children away and I will live in a homeless shelter if I get divorced.

    • I can hear how sad and upset you are. But, before you do anything rash, you’ve got to find out whether you can save your marriage. While you can get a divorce if you like, with two small children to raise (and a bunch of lawyers in his family!), that’s not something you want to rush into.

      If you haven’t tried marriage counseling, that’s the place to start! It sounds like there is a definite lack of communication between you and your husband. A good marriage counselor can help you find ways to communicate with each other effectively.

      You also might want to look into individual counseling. It is probably covered by insurance. Why would you get a therapist? … because you are already sad and probably sleep-deprived and a little overwhelmed already. You need support! You need someone who you can talk to who can think clearly and guide you to figure out what you want to do.

      Finally, do your best to take care of yourself. Try to get enough sleep. Take naps if you can. A sleep-deprived brain can’t think clearly, and that’s something you absolutely need to do right now if you want to move forward in the best way possible, whether that’s by staying in your marriage or getting a divorce.

      I know this probably sounds simple. But it’s a lot! And remember, whether you divorce or not, your kids need a mom! You will be a much better, happier and healthier mother if you take care of yourself FIRST, then figure out what you need to do moving forward. (Remember, the flight attendants tell you to put your oxygen mask on first! Until you get yourself into a place where you’re okay, your kids won’t be okay either! If you do get a divorce, having a history of being the best mom you can be will help you if you end up in a custody battle.)

      Hope this helps!

      Karen

  • Help! Please !

    13 years divorced with a pathological narcissistic bully, complying with order after order after order, the ex is STILL on the hunt to look for something else. I have other children with my current spouse and my ex has made our lives hell. Financially took EVERYTHING and still is. 75 percent of my income and 60/40 extracurricular/medical bill. (I’m the 60 percent) if not paid within 10 days of given receipt, we’re back in court due to (ex) filing a motion to enforce , a motion of contempt, a motion to subpoena jail time for max days of 45. Continues to use contempt as a way to manipulate her way of getting ALL mine and current spouses financial statements out of nosiness, and to fight to prove contempt so that I will be court ordered to pay ex attorney fees on top of mine after hiring yet another lawyer. I am at a loss. My current children have suffered due to our financial burden owing (ex) . Unreasonable alimony/cs payments have been reasoning of sometimes not being able to pay on orderly time. Instead of (ex) working with me for when I have the finances, it’s an opportunity for (ex) to use that to discredit me. Currently waiting to be served another discovery as (ex) is taking one word from current order, and fighting the interpretation from that word, as “open ended” which means “pending” which means fighting to continue to extend this longer instead of agreeing I’ve complied 100 percent and have purged myself from contempt. And every documentation that proved I complied. Harassment, threats, interference, stalking, alienation as well. At complete loss. I am in the -3 digits of debt. Nothing left.

    • I am so sorry to hear your story! Unfortunately, when you’re divorcing a narcissist (or you’re already divorced from a narcissist) life rarely goes as planned. Narcissists can use the court system as a weapon against you. Talking to them rationally and trying to reach reasonable agreements, rarely works. So a lot of what I talk about in this article on preparing for a divorce isn’t going to work for you! (Sorry!)

      I understand that you’re deeply in debt. But I would strongly recommend consulting with a good divorce lawyer in your area to see what your options are. Unfortunately, much of what you’re asking are legal questions. I can’t answer legal questions online or outside the state of Illinois. But you definitely need legal advice. Even if you just pay a lawyer for an hour or two of his/her time, it will be money well spent.

      Best,

      Karen

  • Hello!
    I am preparing for the possibility that my husband and I will need to get divorced. We have an unusual home situation… two years ago we bought a piece of land with no infrastructure at all and have been building a homestead by hand. We’ve built a yurt, a barn, and several small outbuildings. However, from the very beginning, I loved this piece of land and I’ve done about 80% of the building labor, while he has been unhappy here and has not invested much energy into developing the property. So now the property value is higher than when we moved in… but I feel that it would be fair for more of that value to be mine since I did most of the work. I want to stay on the land and buy him out, and he may (though he actually wants to leave) try to fight me for the land out of anger and hurt. Does the sweat equity I put into building these improvements get taken into account legally? Is there any way to prove I did most of the physical labor?

    • I’m afraid that’s a question you’ll have to ask a lawyer in your area. I can’t give you legal advice online or outside of the state of Illinois. Sorry.

  • You’ve got some great divorce preparation tips. I love how you said that it’s good to have a team because no one should go through this alone. We’re hoping to help my sister go through her divorce, so I’ll tell her to hire a lawyer to help her.

  • My sister and her husband are planning on divorcing, so I wondered if I could get some advice on making the process easier. I didn’t know you need a basic knowledge of dividing property and child psychology when you divorce. I’ll have to show my sister this article and when we find a divorce attorney we like, we can ask more questions about making the process easier, thanks to this post!

  • Thanks for mentioning the importance of getting documents organized before a divorce to reduce any unwanted stress. My sister is getting divorced after being married for 5 years and it has put a toll on her mental health. She plans on hiring a lawyer to help make the process much smoother.

  • Thank you so much for pointing out that no one goes into a marriage planning for a divorce, you will have really hard emotions, but you will need to process them well if you want to gain peace with the divorce. For the last few months, my brother has been telling me how unhappy he is in his marriage and how unappreciated he feels. He is thinking that it is time for a divorce. I will have to tell him about your advice and help him look for lawyers to help the process.

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